Popular Jokes
Child 1: Whatcha gonna do?
Child 2: I'm gonna watch TV!
Child 1: Guess what? I'm the QUEEN of the TV Freaks!
Outside a small Macedonian village, close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent.
She is the last caretaker of a site of significant historic developments. The convent once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site. The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. When the Greek Church took over the site in the 15th Century an
1 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."
A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
2 A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
3 A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer popped out of the machine. She set it on the ground, put sixty more cents into th
Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.
Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
1. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
2. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
3. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
5. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
6. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Q: Why do blondes insist on guys wearing condoms?
A: So they'll have a doggie bag for later.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, the other is a walrus
Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why did the blo
I bet it was really tough being an Apostle of Jesus. What if you wanted a day off?
You ring up Jesus and say, "Jesus, I'm sick today, running a little fever and feeling congested so I won't be able to make it to today's sermon. What...? Say that again...? I'm cured?"
Justin: If you give me a quarter, I'll give you everything in my lunch box.
Zach: That depends... what's in your lunchbox?
Justin: Nothing!
...you prefer cheap rum instead of expensive wine.
...you think that the proper way to greet kings at events is: "Arrh, ye peacock, give me yer money or I ll burn yer tent!"
...you're planning to purchase a large cannon with the explanation: "Who knows? Maybe some day we go to camping."
...you get thrown out of meetings cause you know too much about "slithering throats, ARRH!".
...the people at work starts to talk about you as the guy who puts jolly rogers on everything.
...people stand WAAY back when your household starts to pull out rapiers, sabres, cutlasses and daggers.
...you get really angry when the person next to you at the bancuette, who claims to be a pirate, doesnt kno
After picking up food for his daughter's cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too.
"Shall I have the cat's name written on the side of the bowl?" offered the store owner.
"No, don't bother," replied George. "He can't read anyway."
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