Knock Knock Who's there? July July who? July like Bill Clinton

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to go rob a bank she didn't have to use no gun, she just reached her head over the counter and said put the money in the bag!!!!!

One night Aggie says to George "Think I'll go to bingo the night George... when I'm gone you make sure the youngsters get in and go to bed" Now George and Aggie had thirteen kids the last time they counted. So when Aggie went off to bingo, George went out and made the youngsters come in and get to bed. For about three or four hours, one little boy kept crying and crying, so George takes off up with a split and hits the floor, the little boy cries harder and harder. George sputters out "What are you bawling about?" The little boy replies "I want to go to me own home."

Q: How many FBI agents does it take to change a light bulb? A: I'm afraid that you are not able to receive this classified information.

Yo daddy so bald he has to have holes in his pocket to finger through his hair.

Acquaintance: A person you know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. Bachelor: A guy who gets to keep all his take-home pay. Pedestrian: A father who has teenagers who can drive. Honesty: The fear of being caught. Zebra: A horse prisoner.

10 sentences teachers say (and their true meanings) 1. This book is very commonly used (I also studied from it 40 years ago) 2. It's important to understand what the material means in general (I'm not good with details) 3. Some might say... (My guess is...) 4. The answer to that question is not in the syllabus (I don't know the answer to your question) 5. We'll discuss that question next week (I don't know the answer to your question) 6. I'll let you search in the dictionary and find out (I don't know how to spell that word) 7. Some of you could have succeeded more in the test (You all failed) 8. Are there any questions about the material we learned last lesson? (Did any of you revie

A man is driving down the road when he spots 2 priests on the side nailing signs into the ground. The first sign says, "The End is Near!!" The man turns to look at the other mans sign and it reads, "Turn back while you still can!" The man then sticks his head out his car window and yells, "Leave everyone alone, you religious nutcases!" as he drives by. A few seconds later the two priests hear a splash. The first priest turns to the second and says, "Maybe we should just put up a 'Bridge Out' sign."

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?" "Just a minute," said the busy clerk. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."

40-ish....................................49 Adventurer.............................Slept with all your friends Athletic..................................No tits Average looking......................Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful................................Pathological liar Contagious Smile....................Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated..........................Banged her Political Science professor Emotionally Secure.................Medicated Feminist..................................Fat ball buster Free spirit...............................Junkie Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a slut Fun......................................Annoying Gentl