One way to take care of the world's population. The IRS has reported the "disappearance" of more than 8 million American children during the late 1980s, "caused" by tax reform legislation. That number is the total of all children claimed as dependents of beneficiaries of child care tax credits before 1987 but who were never again claimed once the IRS started requiring proof that such children existed.

A boy of 6 years old never pays attention to his pant's zipper...which is always being left open. Because of this his mother often gets angry. One day some of his relatives plan to visit their city, so his mother advised him that whenever she tells him to "close the Eiffel Tower", it means that he has to close his zipper. His relatives arrive, and after some time, the boy asked his aunti, "Aunti, why did you come here?" His aunti answered, "Dear boy, we came here to see the Eiffel Tower." The boy said in great excitement, pointing towards his zipper, "But aunti, the Eiffel Tower is closed." Aunti replied, "My boy, that is the small Eiffel Tower. I came here to see big one." The boy ans

1. Introduction The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavored to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage. 2. Food In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain foo

What's faster than a speeding bullet? A jew with a coupon.

Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth. And George W. Bush can't tell the difference."

A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it." So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?" But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it." The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son." The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

Teacher: Oh I really love my husband he's so cute and kind and everything! I will never do anything to hurt him. Jack: Looks like you really love your husband, teacher. Cara: It looks pretty obvious. After lunchtime the bell rang and everyone went to their classroom. When their teacher came... Teacher: Who keeps putting this ball pen on my table?! I will spill the ink to the one who keeps putting this thing. Cara: Ummm teacher a while ago your husband came and put that ball pen on your table, and he told me to remind you that that was the ball pen that you were looking for since last month.

Apparently, a Polish driver living in southern Ireland by the name of Prawo Jazdy had racked up dozens of speeding tickets and parking fines - but with a different address on each occasion. Eventually, the Garda discovered that Prawo Jazdy is Polish for 'driving licence'. . .

In the GDR, at traffic hubs and in front of supermarkets there are "banana machines". You stick a banana in and five Ostmarks come out!

An old Armenian is on his deathbed: "My children, remember to defend the Jews." "Why Jews?" "Because if they are gone, we will be next."

"Three people of different nationalities walk into a bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one makes a mockery of his fellow countrymen by acting dumb."

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile . . . 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water. 3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air. 4. No one knows your secret place. 5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world." 6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. 7. The water is so clear that you can easily make out the fac