Popular Jokes
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise whe
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- firefighter, police officer, sales rep, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret, and takes off all his clothes in front of other men, and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go home with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly sent the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that r
How to break up a dating couple:
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I dumped your girlfriend last night?
I went into your house, took a booger off the wall and yo mamma told me not to touch the family portrait.
How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter's finger?
Punch him in the nose.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer's victims and The Clintons' hair styles have in common?
They both look like the work of a butcher.
If The Clinton's were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro's acquaintance in the 6th grade.
Why doesn't Hillary cut Bill's hair?
He won't pay her $300.
What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
His face.
What is the Arkansas state flower?
Gennifer.
Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
Put Janet Reno in charge.
What's the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp?
One's a scum sucking bott
Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.
Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank., "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze."
Matt replies, "And we weren't?"
Dad: Courtney, do you want penne pasta for dinner?
Courtney: No, but I'll have dime or quarter pasta.
Women as Explained by Engineers
Finally- an explanation of Woman that makes sense to a man!
Element: Woman
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg, to 225 kg.
Physical properties
___________________
Body surface normally covered with a film of powder and paint.
Boils at absolutely nothing-freezes for no apparent reason.
Found in various grades, ranging from virgin material, to common ore.
Chemical properties
____________________
Reacts well to gold, platinum, and all precious stones.
Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
The most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
Common Use
__________________
Highly ornamental, especially
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