Teachers VS. Students

Teacher: Paul, what is the chemical formula of water? Paul: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O Teacher: What is this? Paul: Well, you said it is H2O! ------------------------------------------------------- Teacher : Mike, get up! How can you sleep in my class? Mike : I can Mr, if you keep your voice down. ----------------------------------------------------------- Teacher : Where does God live? Little boy : I think he lives in our bathroom. Teacher: Why do you say that? Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?' ---------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: "Annie! stop showing off! Do you think you are the teacher of this class?" Annie: "No, Miss." Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!" ---------------------------------------------------------- Pupil: "Sir, Would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents?" Teacher: "But your parents don't have a computer." Pupil: "Exactly!" ---------------------------------------------------------- A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?" ---------------------------------------------------------- Teacher to girl: "Why are you late?" Girl: "I started late from home". Teacher: "Why didn't you start early?" Girl: "By the time I woke up, it was too late to start early" ---------------------------------------------------------- Teacher to the student: Why are you tearing up your homework copy? Student: To keep the elephants away. Teacher: But there are no elephants here. Student: See how effective it is! ---------------------------------------------------------- Teacher: You weren't at school last Friday, Robert. I heard you were at the movie theatre. Robert: That's not true, sir. And I've got the tickets from the football game to prove it.