Q. How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb? A. I'm just going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised.

You might be a redneck if your baby's first words were, "Attention, K-mart shoppers!"

There were 3 tomatoes. A momma tomato, a papa tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato started to fall behind and the papa tomato called over to him and said, "Ketchup!"

Yo daddy so bald he has to have holes in his pocket to finger through his hair.

One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car. "If I take them out of the car I lose them," she reasoned. "Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?" the husband countered. "Oh that's okay," the wife chirped happily, "I keep a spare key in the glove box!"

1) A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first meaning of which could be interpreted to indicate his agreement with his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his membership in his particul

A woman had an appointment in the morning with her gynecologist and was running late. She hadn't had the time to give herself a proper washup so she took a washcloth and gave herself a wash in 'that area' in front of the sink. She threw the cloth into the wash basket after making sure she was presentable and drove to her appointment. She was silent throughout the checkup and ignored the gynecologist when he said, "My... We have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?" It was only until after the day was over when her daughter called to ask if she had seen where her washcloth was. The woman told her to get a fresh piece from the cabinet but the daughter said, "No, I need that

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo? She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, "Chief, is this coming winter going to be mild or cold?" Not really knowing an answer, and knowing it was better to err on the side of caution, the chief replied, "It is uncertain at this time, but we should begin to prepare just in case. Collect wood as if it is going to be cold, and I'll see what more I can learn." Being a good leader, he then went to the phone and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be mild or cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later, he again cal

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?" Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Martinez. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." She heard a l