A blonde went to her regular plastic surgion one day. When she walked in, he said to her, "What more can I do for you? I have changed your every part of your body that you could think of! I even did your ears!" She replied, "Well, this is kind of embarrasing for me say out loud." The plastic surgion, curious to know what the blonde wanted done, asked, "What is it? You can trust me. She answered shyly. "This morning, while I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that my butt had a huge crack down the middle and i was wondering if you could get me a new one that isn't broken."

A blonde went to the eye doctor one day. She complained to the doctor that she couldn't see and was having a hard time driving because of this. He then told her that she would need glasses. The blond knowing that the glasses would cost a couple of hundred dollars decided to save her money because she remembered she had some at home. She then told the doctor that she had a pair. He said, "OK, wear them all the time." The blonde left and went home. She called the doctor and told him she couldn't see so he scheduled an appointment and told her to bring her glasses so he could see them. The next day the blond came in holding up two drinking glasses to her eyes and told the doctor "I had a hard t

A policeman was on duty when he got a complaint, so he went to go check it out. The complaint was that a sport car had not moved from a corner and was holding up traffic. When he got there, he went to the car and asked the blonde lady in it why she was holding up traffic and not going. She responded well the sign told me to stop but it doesn't want to let me go.

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a male farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. Of course the farmer is a blond. :) He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Er... excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field!"

A blonde walks into a restaraunt and asks for fish and chips. When she sees the fries on her plate she says "I asked for chips, not fries!"

A blond is in math class. The teacher says, "We are going to be learning about pi (3.14) today. Does anyone know what that is?" The blond says "I do. I made a cherry one this morning."

Why did 3 blonds jump off the building? To see if their maxi-pads had wings!

Why did they ban the wave at the local football games? *Too many blondes were drowning. Why was the blonde on the roof of the bar? *Someone told her that the drinks were on the house. Why don't blondes eat M&Ms? *They are too hard to peel. Why do blondes take the pill? *It's the only way that they can keep track of what day of the week it is. Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank? *She tied up the safe and blew the guard.

1. If you had a $25 bill, what would you do with it? 2. How many tomatoes grow on a tree? 3. How many animals did Moses take on the ark?

A blonde laughs at a joke 3 times. When the joke is told, When the joke is explained, And 5 days later, when she gets it.

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead saw her boyfriend buying flowers. Redhead sighed and said, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again." The blonde looked quizzically at her and said, "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?" The redhead said, "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all get together once a week to talk about the problems they are having with their daughters, and get input from the other two moms. So, the brunette decided to open the meeting. "I found a pack of cigarettes on my daughter's nightstand the other night. What am I going to do?" The moms told her to talk to her daughter and tell her it was wrong, and to never do it again. The redhead said that she had recently found a 12 pack of beer in her daughter's closet. The moms told her to talk to her daughter, tell her it was wrong, and never to do it again. When it was the blonde mom's turn she said: "I found a box of condoms on my daughter'