An Irishman, a Scotsman, and an American walk into a bar. The beginning of a cheesy joke? You betcha.

As of 11-23-09, my score was 1337. How the hell that happened beats me. I thought I was a crappy joke writer. This is boring isn't it? Thought so. At least it's not a dupe. Or is it... Nope, it's not. Boring as hell, right? Thought so.

*This is from a comic called Pearls Before Swine, I just wanted to share it with you guys(crowd goes *awwww*)* Dentist(on phone p-D): Hi, this is Dr. Smith's office calling to remind you about your dental appointment tomorrow. Other Person(P): Can't make it. D: Why? P: Profanity. It offends me. D: I didn't use profanity. P: Car won't start. D: You live a block away. P: 2 broken feet. D: We'll send a cab. P: No money. D: We'll pay. P: Mom died. D: You said that last year. P: Dad this time. D: You don't know which? P: Can't keep track. D: OF YOUR PARENTS?!?! P: When training for a marathon. D: On 2 broken feet? P: I drive the race. D: Your car won't start. P: I take a cab. D: You have no mone

"So I was talking to my family and we were doing a family get together session, you know the one teens dread? That one. And my mom asks me, 'if you could ask one person 2 questions, what would ask them?' So I thought and decided to "question" the director of the movie 2012." Me: Sir, your movie is based of the catastrophes that might happen in 2012. Will most people die? Director of 2012: Sure. Me: If you go down, do George Clooney and Brad Pitt go down with you, because that will make me the sexiest man alive.

1. You had to share a room until you were 21. 2. You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil. 3. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport. 4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it s normal. 5. All your children have nicknames, which sound nowhere close to their real names. 6. You know someone with 20 kids. 7. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house. 8. You can fit 10 people into a Civic. 9. Your parents never throw anything away and if you by some chance manage to get something to make it to the garbage can . . . it mysteriously appears back where it was again. 10. You have lace curtains

Here is a series of jokes my friend told me. They were hilarious, and I thought I should share it with everyone. Apologies for any dupes. You: Want to hear a corny joke? Them: Ok You: Where do you plant corns in a farm? Them: Don't know. Where? You: At the CORNers You: Do you want to hear a cornier joke? Them: Yes You: (pull one lower eyelid) CORNEA! (goofy tone) You: Do you want to hear a long joke or a short joke? Them: Long joke You: Jjjjjoooooookkkkkkkeeeee (drag as long as you can) Them: Short joke You: Jo' (say it very really fast) Enjoy! :)

What is the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw the accordion into the dumpster and it lands on the banjo. What is the definition of a quarter tone? Two oboes playing in unison. What do you call a guitar player who just broke up with his girlfriend?? Homeless. How do you know if the drum stand is level? There is drool coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

What do you do when you see a Mexican riding a bike? Throw a stone at him, it's your bike!

This site is dead. There has been an all-time low in traffic. No one posts anymore. The end of the site is a tragic one, and I will miss the site. Wocka has fallen from its high branch. Submit your hate towards, but you know it's true.

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded. "Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY." There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a sight of resignation as she was heard to mutter, "Well, fuck . . . I guess that's why no one was at church today."

Due to insufficient activity and a measly community, it has been decided that Wocka shall be merged with Braingle.com, the sister site of Wocka but with brain teasers. The decision was not an easy one, and there has been long discussions with Jake in both the Braingle and Wocka forums. The discussion was so heated that even Braingle's debate forums could not equal it. However, consensus was in favour of the merge and there's not much you can do about it. The following measures shall be taken: 1) All Wocka users now have a Braingle account. If they've already had one before, then their Wocka score is added to their Braingle score. Jake has made sure that the passwords of every Wocka and Brai

I had a great memory once, but I don't know where I left it. You haven't seen it lying around anywhere have you? No? No what?