Category Jokes - Other / Misc
A man goes into a sportswear shop, and when a pretty blonde assistant asks him what he wants, he goes red in the face and stammers, "A packet of condoms, please."
The assistant says, "This is a sportswear shop, we don't sell condoms!" and the man leaves.
Two days later, he's back. "A packet of condoms, please." "I've told you before, we don't sell condoms!" and again, he gets all flustered and leaves hurriedly.
Three days later, and he enters the shop again. This time, the manager is ready for him, and goes up to him, saying, "We do NOT sell condoms!" He blusters, and eventually admits, "Actually, I'm after a Dallas Cowboys shirt, but I was just too embarrassed to ask for one!"
What's round and hard and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas you can hang a hat on it?
His head!
"Every day I live with fear, but occasionally I leave her and go drag racing."
"I like to snatch kisses and vice versa."
Seen on an attractive and busty brunette: "Size DOES matter!"
Seen on a different attractive and busty brunette: "We could mate ...(picture of black widow spider) ... but then I'd have to kill you."
Seen on a very overweight guy in a parking lot: "I beat anorexia."
"Goal Of A Bitch: To dominate, control and destroy a man's finances, mental health, self-esteem and any hope for happiness." Seen being worn by one.
John had been working for an Advertising Firm for almost three years, and was getting a promotion, when his boss called him into his office.
"John, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to let you go. When I put you up for promotion, the company did a background check, and we found out that you got kicked out of Yale for lying about getting your diploma. I'm sorry, but I need you out within the hour."
"But I've been working so hard, I've been doing such good work," John said
"I'm sorry, John, but we can't have liars working for us."
"But this is an advertising firm!"
Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, a crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostles. "Paul... Paul," He calls out.
Paul hears his name and comes to the front of the gathering. "Yes, Jesus, how may I serve you?" he exclaims. Just then a guard comes up to Paul, cuts Paul's right arm off with his sword, and throws him back into the crowd, saying, "No one is allowed to speak with the prisoner!"
Jesus once again calls his name. "Paul . . . Paul", he calls. Paul, determined, goes to the front of the gathering again. There he meets the same guard who this time cuts off his le
Many years ago, a fisherman's wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldn't think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Let's not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us."
After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didn't matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Let's call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from
Who is the greatest prostitute in history? Ms.Pacman For 50 cents she'll swallow balls until she dies.
Fill in the blank:
The one who says it cannot be done should never _________ the one who is doing it.
Interrupt.
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