Category Jokes - Other / Misc
201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic's distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC).
202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker in Malaysia combined.
204. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers (they saw it as competition).
205. "Canada" is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".
206. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.
207. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you w
A young air force officer had a very beautiful wife. Early each morning he left his house and went to the airport, and an hour later his wife always left the house too, with a big white towel, and went for a walk on the beach.
Her husband always flew over every morning, and when she saw his aeroplane, she held the white towel high above her head. When her husband saw it, he made either the left wing or the right wing of his aeroplane go down. The left wing meant, 'I will be busy tonight and won't be home,' the right wing meant, 'In eight hours I will be holding you in my arms.'
One morning he flew over with eight other aeroplanes, and his left wing went down. Before his wife had time to fe
3 ladies were on a flight. Suddenly the pilot informed them that there was a technical problem and the plane was going to crash into the sea.
A Chinese lady quickly took her cosmetics set out and started to doll herself up.
A Malay lady beside her questioned her on her actions. The Chinese lady replied that if she looked beautiful, the guys coming to rescue survivors would usually save the pretty ladies first. On hearing this, the Malay lady started to put on all her jewellery.
An Indian woman sitting beside the Malay lady was curious and questioned her. The Malay lady said that the rescuers would save her because she would easily be identified by the glitter of her jewels.
The Indian wo
The running water in Singapore can be drunk directly. So when I get thirsty, I go to the toilet and drink. But how to make a bowl of instant noodle? A girl thinks:
"Since the running water can be drunk directly, the water from electric bathing machine also can!"
So she use the water from bathing machine to make instant noodle.
An old Jewish man is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off. He hollers, "Operator, giff me beck the party!"
She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to make the call all over again."
He says, "What do you want from my life? Giff me beck da party."
She says, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to place the call again."
He says, "Operator, ya know vat? Take da telephone and shove it you-know-vere!" And he hangs up.
Two days later he opens the door and there are two big, strapping guys standing there who say, "We've come to take your telephone out."
He says, "Vy?"
They say, "Because you insulted Operator 28 two days ago, but if you'd like to call up and apologize,
* Perfume saleslady to customer: "Just a word of advice. Don't put this stuff on if you're not really serious about the guy."
* Contrary to popular belief, used-car salesmen are fairly honest with their customers. It's usually a condition of their parole.
* A really great salesman is one who can actually make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties and bra in his car.
* Only a salesman can make a customer think he is really absorbed by a customer's needs and at the same time calculate how much of a commission he can make out of the deal.
My 12-year-old sister was filling out an application form for a foreign language course. Suddenly she stopped, a small frown on her forehead. A moment later, she wrote something down. Glancing over her shoulder, I saw that the question she had paused at was: "Mother tongue." On the blank space beside it she had written, "Pink."
man having problems with premature ejaculation, went to the doctor to see what to do about it.doctor said try startling your self if you feel the urge to ejaculate.on the way home he buys a starter pistol. the guy excited to try the new idea, went home and was suprised to find his wife in the bed.after few minutes of fore play they were in the 69 position he was going to ejaculate so he fires the gun. his wife shits on his face bites 3 inchs off his dick and he still ejaculates prematurly.
The May Day parade in Moscow is the largest, most important military parade of the year. For 1992's parade, Yeltsin and Gorbachev invited Bill Clinton to come watch it with them.
The parade commenced with a battalion of tanks, followed by a division of infantry, followed by armored personnel carriers and mobile artillery. They had mobile ballistic missile launchers, electronic jamming vehicles, and throughout the entire time the formations were overflown by squadrons of the most advanced interceptors, fighters, and long-range tactical and strategic bombers. Clinton, who had never been this close to war in his life, was suitably impressed.
Then he noticed that, way back at the end of the par
Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a saw mill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost my finger!"
"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"
"I just touched this big spinning thing here like this...Damn! There goes another one!"
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