The first TV remote control, introduced in 1950, was called Lazy Bones. Lemon sharks can give birth to about 36 babies at one time. The top of the Empire State Building was originally built as a place to anchor blimps. The area code in Cape Canaveral, Fl, is 321.

Baboons were once trained by Egyptians to wait on tables. A queen bee can lay 800-1500 eggs per day. The Popsicle was invented in 1905 by an 11-year-old boy. "Disco" means "I learn" in Latin.

The first TV network kids show in the U.S. was "Captain Kangaroo." Before 1687 clocks were made with only an hour hand. There are towns named Sandwich in Illinois and Massachusetts. Caterpillars have over 2,000 muscles.

The first typewriter was called the "literary piano." Frogs can't swallow with their eyes open. A duck's quack doesn't echo. August has the highest percentage of births.

Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little." Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step." Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write." Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager." Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further." Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: "Get a long little doggie!"

Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall: "Beware of limbo dancers." A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: "Today's special." Below, it says: "So's tomorrow." Sign in school: "In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended." Sign seen on an electricity pylon: "DANGER! To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted." Sign at a garage in Hertfordshire: "Please do not smoke near the pumps. If your life isn't worth anything, gas is!" Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: "Closed for official opening."

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims! What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called? Turkey feathers. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes - a building can't jump at all. Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks. Where did the first corn come from? The stalk brought it. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

One day, Mr. Dorren's first grade class was learning the alphabet. One of his students came up to Mr. Dorren and asked to go to the bathroom. Mr. Dorren said, "First, recite the alphabet." The student started, "A, B... ... L, M, N, O, Q..." When he finished, Mr. Dorren asked, "Where's the 'P'?" "Running down my legs." replied the student.

A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him, "Tell me when you will die!" The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that when I die, you will die two days later."

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly. After the coroner leaves with Steve's body, Bob volunteers to inform Steve's wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack of beer under his arms. "Say, Bob, where did you get the six-pack?" "Steve's wife gave it to me!" "What! You just told her that Steve died and she gave you a six-pack?" "Well, before I broke the news to her, I asked her if she was Steve's widow. She said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!"

Why is revenge sweet, but payback is a b*tch?

Age 1: You don't piddle in your pants Age 4: You can walk without help Age 21: You can drive Age 60: You can drive Age 70: You can walk without help Age 80: You don't piddle in your pants