Category Jokes - Other / Misc
Of a swimmer
Saw four sharks,
Off the coast.
Three he missed,
One almost.
Tight Rope Walker
Used no net,
Knew no fear.
Made mis-step,
Wound up here.
Novice farmer
Here lies Clyde,
Whose life was full.
Until he tried,
To milk a bull.
Love thy neighbor all through the day... but first make sure his wife's away!
Boyfriend: I'm going to buy us some condoms.
Girlfriend: Why? You can't fit all that in one!
Boyfriend: You barely fit in a bra!
Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
A 2-year old boy, a 12-year old boy, and a 26-year old boy.
Do you know which one I want to have?
The 26-year old for nothing but length.
Two lawyers are leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one of them. "As soon as I walk in the door, I'm going to rip my wife's panties right off."
"I know the feeling," the other says.
"No, I'm serious," says the first. "They're killing me."
What do u call 1 Paki on the moon?
Answer: A problem
What do u call 10 Paki's on the moon?
Answer: A problem
What do u call 100 Paki's on the moon?
Answer: A problem
What do u call all the Paki's on the moon?
Answer: Problem solved
Mr. See and Mr. Soar were old friends. See owned a saw and Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See, which made Soar sore. Had Soar seen See's saw before See saw Soar's seesaw, then See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. But See saw Soar and Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See's saw, so See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. It was a shame to let See see Soar so sore just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw!!!
A bag of Cheetos has a contest. It says "No Purchase neccesary" but the code is on the inside...
There was once an old woman living in a cottage. Her husband had died three years ago. Suddenly, the phone rang. She picked it up and a deep voice boomed: "I am the vindow viper and I'm coming into your town." She put the phone down, thinking it was some boys playing a prank on her.
About half an hour later the phone rang again. She picked it up and the deep voice bellowed: "I am the vindow viper and I'm coming down your road." Again, the woman put the phone down, thinking that the boys were very determined.
Around a minute later, the phone rang again. She sighed and picked up the phone. Again, the deeep voice boomed: "I am the vindow viper and I'm just outside your door!" She put the phon
1. Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
2. Your dad is some sort of engineer.
3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
4. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
5. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
6. You shop 99 ranch.
7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from.
8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, for
You know what would be odd? Some one with a deep, dark voice calls you and says,
"I know what your phone number is...heh heh..."
Today I was thinking to myself, how would my life be different if I was born one day earlier.
I said nothing would change except I would have asked myself that yesterday.
A college professor, an avowed atheist, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."
His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes, when a Marine just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the professor, and hit him full force in the face and sent him tumbling from his lofty platform. The profe
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