Category Jokes - Men / Women
Two old pilot friends in the Air Force were talking about the day's activities:
Jenkins (first pilot): Did you hear? Captain Smith jumped out of a B-1 bomber, without a parachute, and he wasn't hurt!
Randy (Second Pilot): That's impossible! The fall would have killed him!
Jenkins (shakes his head): The bomber hadn't taken off yet.
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There was a really dramatic woman and a small man.
The small man worked at a ballroom. The woman got dressed up all fancy and went to the ballroom. She went up to the man and said, "I hope there is something between us!
And the little man said, "Me too! A continent!"
Well both the girl and the emo bleed blood and both of them are annoying as hell in the process.
During a break at work, John and Steve are chit-chatting about what happened the previous night:
John: "OK, well last night the wife and I decided to go see a play. I waited for 10 minutes downstairs for her to get ready, and we got on our way. So, we're driving down the street, when suddenly a car from oncoming traffic swerves into our lane! I quickly gripped the wheel, and turned out of the way. I hit the guardrail, so my car spun out, took 2 flips in the air, and landed in the ditch at the side of the road. But - guess what? My wife and I crawled out of the car WITHOUT a scratch. What do you think?"
Steve: "I...I just can't believe it."
John: "I know, right? Isn't it unbelievable how
Joe figured out a way to remember his wife's birthday and their wedding anniversary. He opened an account with a florist and told him to send flowers to his wife on those dates, along with a note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by the attention, and all was great until one anniversary. Joe came home, saw the bouquet, kissed his wife, and said, "Nice flowers. Where'd you get them?"
Every man believes every woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.
While a recent sociological study verified this, what men don't realize is that, in women's fantasies, one man cooks while the other cleans!
A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thank
As a senior at Xxxxxx State University in Mixxxxxxx, I often engage women psychology majors in heated discussions about male-female relationships.
Once, my friend Shelly and I got into a hot debate about whether men or women make the larger sacrifice of their respective gender characteristics when they get married. To my surprise, Shelly agreed with me that men give up far more than women.
"You're right, Steve," she said. "Men generally give up doing their cleaning, their cooking, their grocery shopping, their laundry . . ."
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