Jokes
Category Jokes - Men / Women
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இரண்டு பெண்மணிகள் அமர்ந்து ஒரு உணவகத்தில் காபி அருந்திக்கொண்டிருந்தார்கள் .அம்மணி 1: என் முதல் குழந்தை பிறந்த போது என் கணவர் எனக்கு ஒரு வைர அட்டிகை வாங்கித் தந்தார் ....அம்மணி 2: அவருக்கு ரொம்ப நல்ல மனசு ...அம்மணி 1: இரண்டாவது குழந்தை பிறந்த போது World டூர் கூட்டிண்டு போனார் ...அம்மணி 2: அவருக்கு ரொம்ப நல்ல மனசு ...அம்மணி 1: மூன்றாவது குழந்தை பிறந்ததும் இப்போ நாங்க இருக்கற பங்களாவை வாங்கி குடுத்துட்டார் ....அம்மணி 2: அவருக்கு ரொம்ப நல்ல மனசு ...அம்மணி 1: உனக்கு குழந்தைகள் பிறக்கும் போது உன் கணவர் என்ன பண்ணினார் ?அம்மணி 2: என்னை காந்தி மாதர் தமிழ் பயிற்சி மையத்துக்கு அனுப்பினார் ...அம்மணி 1: அங்கே என்ன கத்துகிட்டே ?அம்மணி 2: உன்னைய மாதிரி திமிரு பிடிச்ச பொம்பளைங்க பேசும்போது" போடி " அப்படின்ன
"Did ya hear I got married?" "Oh, that's good." "No, that's bad! She's ugly!" "Oh, that's bad." "No, that's good! She's rich." "Oh, that's good!" "No, that's bad! She won't give me a cent." "Oh, that's bad." "No, that's good! She bought me servants and a big house" "Oh, that's good." "No, that's bad! The house burnt down." "Oh, that's bad." "No, that's good! She was in it."
Adam was in the Garden of Eden and was very very lonely. So God decides to build him a friend and lover. He decides to call it a "Woman". So he sets out to work but realizes he'll need to borrow a few parts from Adam, so he goes to Adam and explains the situation. God says "I'll build the perfect companion, she'll cook, clean, take care of your every wish and need and will never nag or complain or be angry at you for no reason. It'll only cost you an arm and a leg." Adam says "But I need my arm and leg... what can I get for just a rib?" And the rest is history...
One Halloween, a boy dressed up as a cowboy. He went to a house, and an elderly lady opened the door. She said, "What might you be?" and the kid in front of the boy said, "I'm an Indian! All day, I hunt buffalo and make teepees and wigwams!" and the lady gave him some candy. Then the boy was up in line. The elderly lady said, "What might you be?" and he replied, "I'm a cowboy! All day, I round up cattle and take them to corrals!" The lady gave him some candy. So he went to the next house, and a scorching hot teenage girl opened the door. She said, "What might you be?" and the girl in front of the boy said, "I'm a lesbian. All day I think of women, all afternoon I think of women, and all ni
A man and a woman are having an intimate dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as the man quietly slides all the way down his chair and out of sight. The woman across from him seems to not notice.The waitress comes over and says, "Excuse me, Ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman says, "No he didn't, he just walked in the door."
Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend or significant other. DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you! DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get y
A guy receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the upper corner of the stadium; he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter he sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down he ask the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, he again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incr
If Men Ruled the World Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you." Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. If your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in ale or lager. You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme." Eac
There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.' This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age. A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. "Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen." The mayor start
The true meanings of some common male phrases: "I'm going fishing." Really means... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." "It's a guy thing." Really means... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I help with dinner?" Really means... "Why isn't it already on the table?" "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear." Really means... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. "It would take too long to explain." Really means... "I have no idea how it works." "I'm getting more exercise lately." Really means... "The
More male phrases explained: "You know how bad my memory is." Really means... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal." Really means... "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." "I do help around the house." Really means... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket." "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means... "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon." "I can't find it." Really means... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands,
What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds mature. Eventually.
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