New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what in the world happened to your bra and panties. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ____