Register lots of accounts, with each account voting for it as least comedy. If its average comedy drops below 0.5, it will be automatically deleted.

Trousers: Hot off the press . . . . / - - - I regret writing that. Remorse Code Does anyone here have a giant catapult? No? It was a long shot.. Saw two space hoppers outside a nightclub. I said: 'Who are you?' They said: 'We're the bouncers' I had a TV Show about trees. But it got axed. What do you get if you cross a human with a dog? Arrested. I can speak to kettles. Because I'm boilingual. Saw an artist dressed all in black. It was Vincent Van Goth. Hotel receptionists are bit inappropriate, aren't they? They all just sit there, checking people out. My girlfriend said: "Why do you always lie?" I said: "Because it's easier than standing up" I think I got a phone-call about the

Breaking News! Daisy the Dalmation is entering the presidential election along with Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.Right now we are going to hear her campaign speech. " Voting for your next president will be very difficult to chose so let me make it easier. You can vote for the white guy or the black guy. You vote for me you get both.!"

Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box kid?" To which the little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats," the child says. "Oh that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off. A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Al Gore says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al Gore says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Bill what k

What is it called when your pet snake doesn't feel right? -reptile dysfunction.

There's a blind old lady who live with her 5 grand children. Every morning the kid's got up and prepared to go to school, just before they left they each gave her a kiss and walk out at the same time she touches' the kid's face and call out their name. After school they each gave her a kiss at the front door and head in, as each kid's kiss her, she just touch the kid's face and she would say, "Hello Simon, Your getting chubby every day." She touches another face and she said, "Hello Sarah, Your getting finer." She feels the other kid. "Hello Tom." "Hello Mark, You're looking fine. "Hello Marry, You are beautiful. However mark, is so annoyed by her grandmother that he decided to put her into

what's the difference between here and there? The letter T! :) (Take away the T in there and you've got here!)

A gay pornstar doesn't take as many balls to the face as my 4 year old son playing soccer.

One day I was standing in the park wondering how frisbees get bigger when they get closer. Then it hit me.

Mary had a little lamb, fries and a coke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the butcher

Mik: "Do skunks have a good sense of smell?" Mak: "No! If they did, they'd jump off a cliff!"