Santa Claus, a Boy Scout, and a smart blonde jump out of a plane. Who lands first? The Boy Scout, because the other two don't exist.

The Pope, the smartest man in the world, a father, and a son were in a plane that was going to crash. There were only three parachutes in the plane. The Pope says to them, "I need a parachute because I am worshiped by many people of religion." So he takes a parachute and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "I am the smartest man in the world so I deserve a parachute." He takes a parachute and jumps. The father then looks at the son and says, "I have lived a long life and I think you should take a parachute because you have so much to live for." The little boy looks at the dad and says, "It's alright daddy. We can both go. The smartest man in the world took my backpack."

How many Dominicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Dominican one to hold the bulb and Dominican two to turn Dominican one

Teacher: Billy, tell me the periodic for water. Billy:Okay. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What makes you say that? Billy: You said it was H to O.

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur, a tiger, a crocodile, a spider, and a elephant? I don't know but you better get out of it's way!

What happens to you if you can not read? Well, since you'll probably be staying in Kindergarten, less homework!

Joe:Why did the cow cross the road? Bob:The chicken quit. Joe:why did the chicken quit? Bob: He wanted a job that would give him more buck-buck-bucks. Joe: Hey! Why is why is that duck crossing the road? Bob: I don't know. Maybe the cow qu- Hey! Why am I talking to you? I don't even know you! Joe: Why don't you kno- Bob: Shut up!

Ever since Rhianna got dumped by her boyfriend, she put all the stuff that was his or made her remember him she put : " to the left to the left... in the box on the left..."

Science Teacher: Now, now class settle down. Today we will be learning about Biology. Girl: Oh boy! An entire unit about buying! I've bought a lot of things like earrings, and rings, and necklaces, and bracelets... Math Teacher: Okay class. Today we will be learning about subtraction. Boy: Hooray! I know everything there is to know about sub tracks because my father owns a train station. did you know that sub tracks are like regular tracks but...

Basketball hoops are like misdemeanor. The more I miss it da meanor I get.

A boy and his mom were playing the new game of life were you could put your house were you wanted it. The boy put it on the left side. On his next turn he moved it onto the right side. The mom asked why he did that and he said, "I wanted to live on the other side of life."

Why did the 12 watt lightbulb drop out of school? It wasn't very bright.