What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

Two mates calles mik and mak went to the Australia vs England game. It was mik`s birthday, and mik gave mak a ride and mak took mik`s birthday present with him.He went to get it while mik wached the 4th over. Mak said to mik i`ve got some bad news for you buddy. Your car was actually a car bomb and blew up...but mik interupted by saying Well makky, mate I`ve got some bad news for you. what? mak asked. Ricky ponting`s out,he replied

Yo mama's so fat that when she took her first step everyone thought there was an earthquake.

Yo Mamma so ugly when she looked at a baby, the baby turned to stone.

How many blondes does it take to put in a light bulb? 1000. 1 to screw in the light bulb; 1 to give the light bulb to the person who'll screw in a light bulb and 998 to find the light bulb.

How do you keep a blonde busy? Write with a sharpie and tell her to erase it.

How can you tell if someone is a true blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner.

Do you know the Chinese nickname for the Dutch politician Geert Wilders? Answer: Dum Thing!

My girl told me she was trying to lose weight, so I said, "Do whatever makes you happy inside. Just keep in mind that your weight's just a number. There's no number in the world to measure how beautiful you are . . . unless you include negative numbers."

Yo momma so old she met a T Rex in pre-school.

Have you heard about the sauna that serves food? Their specialty is steamed mussels.