A Jewish anthropologist, Benny Steinfeld, was working in the desert near Israel when he happened upon an odd looking vase. After cleaning it he pried open the lid and was astonished when a genie sprang from the container and granted him 3 wishes. Steinfeld wished for enormous wealth, huge land holdings and a bevy of beautiful wives. All wishes were granted, but on one condition. Never again in his life could the anthropologist get a haircut or shave. To do so would mean instant imprisonment in the same urn in which the genie had been imprisoned. All went well during the first few years of his lavish lifestyle, but his beard and long hair became more and more of a problem. One day, during a m

Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle. Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses. Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it. Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper. Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree. Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying. Yo mama has 10 fingers--all on the same hand. Yo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it. Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles. Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude. Yo mama has so many freckles she looks like a hamburger! Yo mama has three fingers and a banjo. Yo mama has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it. Yo mama has a bald head with a part and sideburns. Yo mama has a

Yo moma so fat and retarded that she thinks shes skinny.

A Windows customer said when he closes his windows, they disappear.

Yo Mama is so FAT that when she turned around,it was her birhtday!

A blond was seen walking in a local mall wearing nothing but shoes, a shirt and nothing else.' When security stopped her and asked her what she thought she was doing, She replied, "I saw a sign that said take half off and save money."

Teacher: The reason why we see lightening before we hear thunder is because light travels faster than sound. Blonde student: How do you explain a CLAPPER?

A Japanese and an American are sitting next to each other in an airplane. The Japanese turns to the American and says "We are so technically advanced that we have exact replicas of ourselves so we can be at two places at the same time". He continues, "Therefore, I can be at work and at the same time have sex with my wife." All this while the American stays silent, then suddenly gets up and starts shaking his hips back and forth. The Japanese, confused, asks "What the hell are you doing?" The American, still shaking his hips, replies "I'm fucking my wife via Bluetooth!"

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then

There are three moms. . A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I can't believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I can't believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"

One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go