Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal . . . When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well . . .?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 2

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. When the going gets tough, upgrade. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. Samurai Bank is soldiering on, following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is f

Dear Abby, I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them. I try to stay awake and watch for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my gol

Husband messages his wife on his cellphone: Hi, wat R U doing honey? Wife replies: I'm dying Husband is delighted and jumps with joy, but texts: OMG! How am I gonna live without u? Wife replies: u idiot. I'm dying my hair Husband: *@&!#*/ English

Guide - I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. This is the world's biggest waterfall and the sound intensity of the waterfalls is so high that even 20 supersonic jet planes passing by cannot be heard. Now, I request the ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagara Falls!

one day boodler is walking down the street minding his own (porn) business when suddenly a shady figure drags him into the alley. the huge man rapes poor boodler with his freakishly large 20 inch cock. boodler squeals like a pig. no one comes to help or look as the town is familiar with the sound. you see, boodler goes around town butt naked every sunday squealing like a pig. and today happens to be sunday. no one helps the poor bastard. boodler can take so much cock up his ass all at once. so he faints although the raping continues. next day morning, boodler finds himself in an alley. poor pig limps. his ass sore from the joy ride last night. now you can see him submitting jokes on wocka

Cop to boy: Which of the two fighting in the street is your father? Boy: I don't know. That's what they're fighting about!

Is anybody STILL ALIVE ON WOCKA?????? I KNOW THIS ISNT A JOKE BUT THIS WAY THE ONLY WAY TO GET YOUR ATTENTION! HELLOOOO.... WAS THAT AN ECHO ECHO ECHO?

Imagine that you are on an adventure in a jungle with your best friend. Your friend gets bitten (on his manhood) by a poisonous snake while he was peeing. There isn't a hospital for hundreds of miles. The question is, will you SUCK the poison out or will you just watch him die?

What's grosser than gross? A pile of dead babies in a trash can. What's grosser than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What's grosser than that? He has to eat his way to freedom. What's grosser than that? He goes back for more.

Take a look at these 45 items and see if you find yourself relating and laughing until it hurts! More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or ma