This is a insult I use on my brother's girlfriend if she starts annoying me too much. She has a very tiny bridge in her nose that is only noticeable if you look close enough. Its fun to mess with her about it cause she is very self conscious about it. That bridge on your nose is so big, it could fit Rosie O'Donald across the Grand Canyon!

Doctor, Doctor! I have a virus that makes my left hand constantly butter toast. How can I stop it spreading?

"So I was talking to my family and we were doing a family get together session, you know the one teens dread? That one. And my mom asks me, 'if you could ask one person 2 questions, what would ask them?' So I thought and decided to "question" the director of the movie 2012." Me: Sir, your movie is based of the catastrophes that might happen in 2012. Will most people die? Director of 2012: Sure. Me: If you go down, do George Clooney and Brad Pitt go down with you, because that will make me the sexiest man alive.

Knock-Knock...Who's there?....The Gestapo...The Gestapo, who?.....VEE VILL BE ASKING ZE QUESTIONS HERE!!

Two hillbillies just come out of a divorce court. The ex-wife is crying her eyes out. Her ex-husband comes over and says: "There, there Missy, you're still my sister!"

Your mum's so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Your mum's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.

Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars." Husband : "How about the ones like mine?" Wife : "Those they gave away." Husband : "I had a dream too . . . I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand." Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?" Husband : "That's where they held the auction."

When was the price of milk the highest? When the cow jumped over the moon.

What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls? I do not know but it is on your head.

Yo mama is SO fat that the amount of food she eats for dinner could feed ALL the Ethiopeans for a year!

Yo mama is so dumb each time she hears Obama's name on tv she throws her hands in the air + ducks for cover Yelling OH BOMB A WHERE?!?!?!