Q: How do you shoot a purple elephant? A: Paint him red, hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini? A: Four: Two in the front, two in the back.

Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini? A: None. It's full of elephants.

Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini? A: Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.

Q: How do you know there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out.

Q: How do you know there are three elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can't close the door.

Q: How do you know there are four elephants in your refrigerator? A: There's an empty Mini parked outside.

What do elephants have that nothing else has? Baby elephants!

Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk? A: A mouse coming back from vacation.

Q: What has eight legs, two trunks, four eyes, and two tails? A: Two elephants.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly? A: Because if it was small, white and hard it would be an aspirin.

Why are golf balls small and white? Because if they were big and grey they would be elephants.