Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..."

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if you

The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time. A fellow passenger looked at him and said, "Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat's whisker and still be fresh. Look at you, panting away." The young man took a deep breath and said, "I missed this train at the last station."

How many Wocka users does it take to change a lightbulb? A: All of 'em. One to hold the lightbulb and the rest to argue if this is funny or not.

Italian suppositories. (in-you-end-os)

Me not on time. (I-(am)-so-late)

A foot. (leg-end)

An English tramp. (hobo)

In favour of youth. (pro-teen)

What trees do in Spring. (re-leaf)

how geese fly (in formation)

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?