Jimmy: Hey, you momma is so fat, that she fills up Myspace Billy: Hey, yo momma IS my space, your space and everybody's space!

These danish chicks flash their hairy armpits, while they catch guys' reaction on candid camera. Scroll in a few minutes - it is hilarious http://www.dr.dk/pirattv/programmer/soestrene-bidsk/soestrene-bidsk-tester-angst-for-haar/

You know what? Everybody is screwed these days. In the office, you're screwed if you don't do you're job well. At home, You're screwed if you don't listen to your parents. At school/college, You're screwed by many- Teachers, bullies, the principal etc... And they say we're all screwed on December 21st 2012! But, these things don't bother me. The one thing that makes me mad is when I'm looking for a virgin and they're ALL screwed!

USA:What's wrong world? World:(crying and sniffling) My kitty died! USA: That's unfortunate. Here's a couple hundred billion dollars my hardworking citizens paid. I was gonna spend it on education and defence and whatnot, but you need it more. World:(takes the money) Cheapass! (spits in USA's face)

A man was kneeling by his bed, praying. His wife walks in and asks "Whatcha doin'?" The man - once finishing - says "Praying." "Whatcha prayin for?" says the lady. "Guidance." "Don't pray for guidance, pray for stiffness and I'll guide it myself!"

Two bulls are in a locker room when one guy notices the other dude has a cork in his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?" The other bull says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.' And I said, 'No bullshit!'"

INTEROFFICE MEMO Subject: Special High Intensity Training In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEES EVALUATION PROGRAMS (

Apparently, a Polish driver living in southern Ireland by the name of Prawo Jazdy had racked up dozens of speeding tickets and parking fines - but with a different address on each occasion. Eventually, the Garda discovered that Prawo Jazdy is Polish for 'driving licence'. . .

You probably know for a fact that Adolf Hitler had only one testicle. And here we say ''You got to have balls to become a leader''

An elderly couple was watching the news when the man farts. The man asks "Was that me, or you?"

A boy comes home from school and runs to his father. The boy says ''Dad, a boy in my class calls me a gay'' . ''Oh yeah? Well then beat him up!'' says his dad. The boy replies ''I can't dad!''. ''Why not son?''. The boy looking away says ''Because he's kinda cute''

No cure here. . . .