Johnny comes home from school, and shouts, "Mother!" Mother calls from upstairs, "If you wish to speak to me, come upstairs so you don't have to shout." When Johnny gets upstairs, she says, "Now, what did you want to say to me?" "Just that I trod in some dog do, but it seems to have gone now!"

There were cockroaches in the corner of a hotel when four people saw it and reacted differently. The hotel manager saw the cockroaches, and said "Can somebody please clean these up? It's ruining my hotel." A customer saw it and said "Don't the hotel facilities know how to maintain this hotel clean and free of gross creatures? I'm out of here." A movie star saw it and said "Eeewww, crochy! Go away!" Then a beggar outside saw it and said "Is that dinner? For me?"

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners. Both successors were named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson,

21st Century... Our communication - Wireless Our dress - Topless Our telephone - Cordless Our cooking - Fireless Our youth - Jobless Our food - Fatless Our labour - Effortless Our conduct - Worthless Our relation - Loveless Our attitude - Careless Our feelings - Heartless Our politics - Shameless Our education - Valueless Our follies - Countless Our arguments - Baseless Our boss - Brainless Our Job - Thankless Our Salary/Allowance - Very less !!!

In a recent review, The Weird Gamers rated popular game, Grand Theft Auto IV 3.14 out of 10. They said it was pirated.

A Chinese family of four was eating fried rice for dinner. As always, the half-blind father was last. Thinking that nobody will care if he throws his food out, he does so, as he sees an empty garbage can. The next morning his wife says to him: "Honey, while you were eating dinner I took the garbage out, and now some ee-diot left crap in the box. Please clean it up"

JOHNNY : Hey billy, you like Fishsticks? BILLY : Yeah... JOHNNY : So, you put Fishsticks in your mouth? BILLY : Yeah why? JOHNNY : What are you Billy, a gay fish?

So my friend and I were talking (for real this time) at lunch and he told a joke. Him: So this kid found beer under his brother's bed and before he went to school he drank like 5 bottles and was drunk. Then his teacher asked him what 7+7 was and he was like 302 and the teacher said it was right in a slurred voice. Then the conversation continues and I tell some of boodler's and Newf's and Drunky's and alex1234's (hey, it's not illegal) and after a while I take a swig of my milk carton, slam it down like a drunk and say 302. My friend was like, "Huh?" then breaks out laughing a belly laugh.

You know how we earn little icons next to our names for the points we get for being active on Wocka? They should do that on Facebook. Only backwards. The longer you are totally inactive, the higher level symbols you get.

DMV jokes get old really fast. Unlike the DMV. You have to go through a special line to become old.

This is seriously strange. If you vote, don't vote because it offends you, just view it as sarcastic. If this being sarcastic offends you, view it as serious. I refuse to tell which way I think about it. If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, h

Good morning is a contradiction in terms.