Every year the class of Ms. Marquez has a class urine contest. The goal is to be the one to pee the most. If you do, you win. There are four contestants. One is from Japan, another is from the United States, the next is from Mexico, and the last, but definitely not the least, is from the Philippines. The Japanese filled a gallon with urine. The audience clapped. The American filled five big tanks of urine. The audience clapped and shouted. The Mexican filled five big tank and a gallon with urine. The audience clapped, shouted, and danced. Here is the Filipino. When th Filipino finished his turn, there were no one who clapped, shouted, nor danced, because the whole classroom was filled with

As a senior at Xxxxxx State University in Mixxxxxxx, I often engage women psychology majors in heated discussions about male-female relationships. Once, my friend Shelly and I got into a hot debate about whether men or women make the larger sacrifice of their respective gender characteristics when they get married. To my surprise, Shelly agreed with me that men give up far more than women. "You're right, Steve," she said. "Men generally give up doing their cleaning, their cooking, their grocery shopping, their laundry . . ."

One day, Farrah Fawcett died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.Peter greeted her. "Hello, and welcome. You have lived a life full of prosperity and love. You have given millions around the world entertainment with your acting. Now I will provide you with one wish for the Earth before you enter Heaven. What is it?" Farrah thought for a minute, but answered, "I would like all the children in the world to be safe." The next day, Michael Jackson died.

This poem is for every guy who has a girl who wants poetry and songs devoted entirely to them ;) ( Sung to row row row my boat ) Suck, suck, suck my cock suck my god damn cock blow it hard you fucking 'tard suck my god damn cock! Please, if this offends you don't read it, no need to comment on how horrid it is, this is not every one's brand of humor . . .

Someone approaches you to say hi and your immediate response is, "You bet I am!"

Not sure if this is up yet but I haven't seen it so here it goes . . . A 30-year-old man suffers from massive MASSIVE headaches that dominate his life completely and cause him pain almost every single moment of every day. He's been going through this pain since he was around 20 and no doctor has ever been able to help him out in curing the pain though he has tried almost every pain killer, and several surgeries. One day a doctor calls him in to talk. The man expects another prescription of pain meds and what-not so he goes in, but he's shocked to find that this doctor has actually figured out what's wrong. "You see, sir," says the doctor, "You have a very very rare condition where yo

Why aren't there more Kenyans in the Olympics? All the rest couldn't outrun the slave traders!

I thought up ALL OF THEESE. I am NOT duplicating anyone (except for 15 and 14, from the American 'Whose Line is it anyway?') So if you want a good "Fun things" and you don't want to keep seeing duplicates, read on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1.When the math teacher asks you a question, purposely answer incorrectly. Persist. See how long it keeps going. In my class, this really happened with a kid named Rahul. The teacher asked him how many centimeters were in a meter, and he kept on saying "1" and he kept it going for the rest of the period. ( 20 minutes!!! ) 2. When reading a book, scream, "NO! DON'T!!! LOOK OUT!" 3. Whenever you pick up a pencil, say the word "potato" or some other ra

An elderly couple was attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do? He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

One day, a Democrat was on vacation. He was walking along the beach, when he hit his toe on a hard object, and looking down, he saw a small, shiny golden lamp sticking out of the sand. Excited, he grabbed the lamp, and rubbed its side. A genie appeared from the lamp and said, "Thank you for releasing me. You may have three wishes. But I am a Republican genie; whatever you wish for, every Republican will get two of tomorrow morning." The Democrat nodded, and said, "I'd like a shiny new car." The genie said, "Your wish is granted. Every Republican ill have two new shiny cars in their driveways tomorrow morning;" and a new car appeared next to them. "I want a million dollars," said the Demo

Sir Lancelot was losing patience with Lady Guinevere. He had fought battles; he had jeopardized his reputation; he had ruined his friendship with King Arthur. But it was all worthwhile just to have this time with his lovely lady. They had run away for a little while, but Lancelot was growing angry because Guinevere was spending all her time on a stupid crossword puzzle. When she raised her quill to write in another word, he snapped. He couldn't take it any more. He yelled in a harsh tone, "GIVE ME THE PEN GUIN!" After that, she thought he had lost his mind, and left him.

A blonde mother runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the blonde takes the children to the park to play, when a brunette walks up and notices the blonde and her daycare kids. She goes to the blonde and asks her, "Are all these kids yours?" The blonde replies, "No, I have two of my own." The brunette proceeds to ask which two are the blonde's. The blonde laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center." The brunette asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?" The blonde looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."