Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?" Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo." Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother." Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

See that X? That's your mum that is.

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? A. The same as the number of men, you sexist bastard!

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!

A Kerryman emigrated from Ireland to England, thereby increasing the average IQ of both countries.

Why do mathematicians like national parks? Because of the natural logs.

What's purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.

There was a really dramatic woman and a small man. The small man worked at a ballroom. The woman got dressed up all fancy and went to the ballroom. She went up to the man and said, "I hope there is something between us! And the little man said, "Me too! A continent!"

Gene Pitney dies, and his widow is told that the coffin would take a week if it was made from Oak - but only 24 hours from Balsa!

I heard you tried to apply to work at a candy store. But they turned you down saying they already had enough air heads. Were you fat when you were born? Cause i think it all went straight to your head. Most people think outside the box. You still haven't figured out how to get in.

People from Mensa are said to understand any jokes without the need of any explaination. Meaning Mensans will be able to understand this joke here, though it is limpid that there aren't any to be contemplated.

The three wise men went to visit Jesus right after he was born. One wise man was extremely tall. He hit his head on the top of the door frame and said, ''Jesus Christ!'' Joseph looked at Mary and said ''Write that down -- that's way better than Clyde!''