If you do not want to say you're a guy, do not read this joke. (I do not know if this is funny) Instructions: At the end of each sentence say "I'm a Guy" You meet this hot girl. (I'm a Guy) You ask her out. (I'm a Guy) You take her to the movies. (I'm a Guy) You buy her popcorn. (I'm a Guy) She asks you over. (I'm a Guy) When she closes the door she whispers in your ear. I'M A GUY!!!!!!!!!

A masked man all of a sudden gave a beggar 1 million dollars. Man: Why did you give me so much money? Masked Robber: I steal from the rich and give to the poor. Man: I'm rich! Masked Robber: Okay give me all your money.

A girl named Zoey goes up to an artist and asks him to paint a picture of her face. "But Miss Zoey, if I paint a picture of your face then I can never be an artist again." "Why?" she asked. "Because if I look at your face too long, I will go blind."

A man is bitten by a rabid dog he found wandering in his yard. Frantically, he rushes his computer and begins typing something. His neighbor walks in, and mentions to him that he need not worry, there is a cure for rabies. He replies, "I know that; I'm finding where George Bush is right now!"

Here are some excuses... 1. My kids are locked outside. 2. My kids are locked inside. 3. My kids are stuck in the door. 4. I have to help my grandmother bake cookies. 5. I have to help my Aunt Flo in Omaha bake cookies - she's much better. Now and she wants to send thank-you cookies to everyone who came to see her when she thought she was dying. 6. The Water Department has to read my meter once a year and this was the only time they would come. 7. The gas company has to read my meter once a year and this was the only time they would come. 8. The water meter guy and the gas meter guy were both leaving cards on my door about me not being home, and they got into a fight about whose mete

How It Works Once upon a time a man told a small village, "I will buy monkeys for $10 each." Since there were many monkeys in the forest, the villagers caught them and sold them to the man. As the supply of monkeys diminished, the villagers' efforts slowed, so the man offered them $20 each. They renewed their efforts but the supply of monkeys diminished further, so he increased his price to $25. Soon no one could even find a monkey in the forest. The man increased his price to $50, but announced, "Since I must go to the city on business, I authorize my assistant to buy monkeys on my behalf." As soon as his boss was gone, the assistant told the villagers, "My boss has collected lots o

Sleepy just ran back into the house after reading the newspaper and exclaimed, "Everyone! Everyone, the Pope is coming to town this weekend!" Grumpy replies, "Great! Now we can ask him the question!" The weekend rolls around and they stand in line to speak to the pope, it's finally their turn and they send up Dopey and await for him to ask the Pope their question. "Umm... Mr. Pope, do... Do they have nuns in Alaska?" asks Dopey. "Well, I do think so, yes they do, son," replied the Pope. "Tell the rest tell the rest!" yelled the other 6 little annoying midgets. "Umm... do, do they have black nuns in Alaska?" asked Dopey. "Well.. I don't see why they wouldn't, so yes, they do." replied the

A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes : "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!" She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!" The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from him: "I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!!USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!"

16 more white keys than black keys on a piano.

8*4 = worlds in super mario brothers.

Beijing = Capital of China.

8 = planets in solar system.