Top Jokes
What letter comes next?
D, L, M, M, J, V, ...
S. The letters are the first letters of Spanish days of the week, domingo, lunes, martes, miercoles, jueves, viernes, sabado.
He v. She
The family picture is on his desk - Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on her desk - Um, her family will come before her career.
His desk is cluttered - He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
Her desk is cluttered - She's obviously a disorganized scatterbrain.
He is talking with his co-workers - He must be discussing the latest deal.
She is talking with her co-workers - She must be gossiping.
He's not in the office - He must be meeting a customer.
She's not in the office - She must be out shopping.
He's having lunch with the boss - He's on his way up.
She's having lunch with the boss - They must be having an affair.
Started a great book the other day - I couldn't put it down.
It's called "The History of Glue"!
A man comes from a foreign country and buys a T.V. to learn some English, he turns to the first channel and it says, "I did it, I did it I'm a big kid now." He turns to the next channel and it said, "Fork and knife, fork and knife." He turns to one of those little kid commercials and they were saying, "Under the Sea," while wave their hands around crazily. The next one was a Ziploc commercial, saying, "Ziploc bags, keeps things fresssshh." He turns to the final commercial he has on his T.V. and it says, "Plug it in! Plug it in!"
He buys a "stolen" car by accident which has a dead lady in the trunk, he drives for a while then finally the police pull him over. They open the car trunk and they
Jenny: How did the turtle cross the freeway?
Forrest: I don't know.
Jenny: Take the 'r' out of 'free'. Now, take the 'f' out of 'way'.
Forrest: There's no 'f' in way!
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