Top Jokes
A T Rex named Farrell asked his mother if he could dress up in a tutu. His mother replied, "No! Boys don't wear tutus and dance on their tippie-toes!" Farrell yelled, "But mom!" and told his father.
His father said, "Son, I'm a balerina and I dance in a tutu." Then the mother fainted and fell on the floor.
So father and son danced around the unconscious mother in tutus. They had so much fun, and later had cookies and tea as a treat - and they used the mother as a table.
#1: When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying "An Essay."
#2: When she caught on fire nearby a lake, she called the fire department.
#3: She drank a bottle of root beer and said, "This doesn't taste like beer, or roots."
#4: She gave 200 dollars to a cashier for a small bag of chips and said, "Keep the change."
#5: When she heard that 1 of the 3-porta potties, each next to each other, was out of order, she walked 10 miles to the ocean.
#6: When she saw an old person she said, "At least I'm young."
#7: When she was suing someone, she thought that she was killing herself because she was on the counter sues side.
#8: When she realized someone in weap
A boy named John was moving away somewhere far from his the home he is already in. But he couldn't bring the loved kitten he found. So he decided to sneak it. He stuffed the cat in a cardboard box without any holes. Suddenly his mother came up. He quickly taped it shut and put it on the corner of his bed.
"John, did I hear a cat meow?"
"No mother."
She left. So then John went "Whew!" and he sat on the opposite corner of the bed. It forced the box upwards and out the window. The cat popped out and had it hands up, like on a roller coaster, and the same with its feet. It stared right at John and made a quiet meow. It fell in the kiddie pool.
John said, "Well no wonder they call it the Kitty
As a gift for Christmas, a wealthy family gives its children seventeen computer games. The youngest child gets one ninth of the games, the middle child gets one third of the games and the oldest child gets one half of the games. How are the games divided up, remembering you cannot have part of a computer game?
The family are a little stuck until they borrow a game from their neighbours. This allows: one ninth of 18 is 2, one third of 18 is 6 and one half of 18 is 9. Now, this adds to 2 + 6 + 9 = 17, leaving the spare game to give back to their neighbour!
A lawyer goes in to the cell where his client is being held. "Okay, I've some bad news, and some good news."
"Right, what's the bad news?"
"It's DEFINITELY your blood at the scene of the crime."
"So what's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is way down!"
A boy was working on circumferences for homework when his mother came in and said, "Do you want some pie?" The boy replied, "Sure."
So the mother was saying "3.141592..." over and over and then said, "Want some ratio?"
A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy.
Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.
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