Magazine Bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

A blond man, Mark, was going to France over the summer. So he asked the advice of his friend, who had been to Paris last year. "Oh!" his friend said, "The food in France is fabulous! Be sure to ask about their frog legs." "FROG legs? Really?" Mark couldn't believe it. "Yeah. It seems strange, doesn't it?" Mark agreed to ask. A month later, Mark flew to France. He had a wonderful time seeing the sights, and forgot all about his friend's advice until his very last night, right before dinner. He was already seated at a table, and soon a waiter walked up to him to take his order. "Well..." Mark pondered, "I'm not sure what I want." He decided to ask, then and there. "Say- do you

If Henry IV were cloned, would he be Henry V, or Henry IV Jr. or, would he be Henry IV Part II? (Willy Wagstaff, more usually known as William Shakespeare)

Another Month Ends: All Targets Met, All Systems Working, All Customers Satisfied, All Staff Eager and Enthusiastic, All Pigs Fed and Ready to Fly.

If I travelled to the end of the rainbow, As Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me, The pot's at the other end.

An elephant is talking to a hippopotamus, and the elephant says, "You know, there's nothing worse than a cold in the nose." The hippo says, "Oh yeah? Did you never have chapped lips?"

"Cleanliness is next to Godliness" Why do they say that? I looked it up in the dictionary, "goggles" is next to "godliness"; cleanliness is next to claustrophobia.

What sits on a window sill, hums, and dies mysteriously 91 days after you bring it home? - An air conditioner with a 90 day warranty.

Why do melons get married in church? - Because they cantaloupe.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving. They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.

Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law - A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Murphy's Law of Cable TV If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.