Knock- Knock Who's There? Kenya Kenya Who? Kenya eat me out?

Bob: I'm going to go ride my spaceship. Jack: What's a spaceship? Bob: Dunno, I'll go invent it.

A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience. The man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew." "Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?" "Just once," the man replied. The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?" The man said, "I was looking for my father."

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head." His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings."

A man goes into a pet shop looking for an exotic pet. The owner tells the man, "we have iguanas...". The Man says, "No, I am looking for something really different. Everyone has iguanas, snakes, fish, and spiders!" The owner of the shop then tells the man that he has a talking centipede. The man gets excited; and says, "I'll take it!" On the way home, the man tries to make small talk with the centipede; but he gets no response. He just figures the thing is shy. Once they get home, the man has an idea; and asks the centipede if he wants to go to the bar with him. No response. He gets agitated and taps the centipede's box pretty hard. "I said; Do you want to go to the bar with me?!?!" Aft

Two jackrabbits are running from a pack of coyotes they manage to hide under a cactus. One says to the other: "Should we run for it, or wait till we outnumber 'em?"

A lovely young lady named Kim Went down to the river to swim A man in a punt Stuck an oar in her eye And now she has to wear glasses.

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. "An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins. "You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket. The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best ground beef. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day. The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scal

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am. 9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets. 8. Shows up at barn raisings in full 'KISS' makeup. 7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh." 6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy." 5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap." 4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks. 3. Uses slang expression, "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening." 2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese. AND THE #1 REASON YOU'LL KNOW YOUR TEENAGE AMISH SON IS IN TROUBLE IS: 1. He's wearing his big black hat BACKWARDS!!!

A man into a whorehouse. Once in the room with the prostitute, he puts $50 on the table and drops his pants. The hooker almost faints; the guy has a 18 inch cock. She says, "Hold on pal, I'll lick it, I'll suck it, but you're not sticking that in me." The man pulls up his pants, picks up his $50, and says, "Screw that, I can do that myself!"

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

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