There once was a captain of a ship, and every day at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this every day, but he told nobody what was inside the box. Then one day he died, and in his testament he gave the crew permission to open the box. So they opened the black box, and what they found was a piece of paper: "Starboard is right, port is left."

10.) "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at twenty dollars." 9.) "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags." 8.) "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase." 7.) "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that is why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? HEY! YOU RAT! SAVE SOME FOR ME!" 6.) "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking

Yo momma so fat that when someone asked her for her weight, he replied with, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.

rats have more bones than men parrot can see backwards without turning its head HUMMING BIRD - (RUBY-THROATED) -------------------------------- MASS: About 3-4g (a nickel weighs about 5g). LENGTH: About 8.5cm (3.5") from tip of bill to tip of tail WING BEATS: About 60-80 times per second in normal flight, up to 200 times per second in courtship dives SPEED: Normal flight about 25mph; up to 65kph (40mph) in a courtship dive HEARTBEATS: About 250 times per minute while at rest, about 1,220 per minute while flying BREATHING: About 250 breaths per minute while at rest BODY TEMPERATURE: 40.5 degrees C (105-108 degrees F) FEATHERS: A typical Hum-bird has 940 feathers. FEED RATE: Eats ab

Dolphins sleep with one eye open. Bulls are color blind. A cow's only sweat glands are in its nose. Mosquitoes have 47 teeth. The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2,200 people. Emus can't walk backwards. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of owls is called a parliament. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of bears is called a sleuth. Twelve or more cows is called a flink. A baby oyster is called a spat. Some fleas have split penises like a Y shape An elephant can be pregnant for up to 2 years Chickens can't swallow while they are upside down. The average garden-variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in

The smartest dogs are the Jack Russell Terrier and Scottish Border collie. Dumbest: Afgan hound. A rat can go without water longer than a camel can. The fat molecules in goat's milk are 5 times smaller than those found in cow's milk. It takes 20 minutes for the stomach to break down as opposed to the hour that it takes to break down cow's milk.

IN 24 HOURS AVERAGE HUMAN 1) HEART beats 103,689 times. 2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times. 3) BLOOD flows 1,680,000 miles. 4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches. 5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches. 6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids.) 7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD. 8) Breathes 438 cubic feet AIR. 9) Lose 85.60 BODY TEMPERATURE. 10) Produce 1.43 pints of SWEAT. 11) Speak 4,800 WORDS. 12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times.

Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient! Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more

Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world. Pig's Tongue contains 15,000 taste buds. For comparison, the human tongue has 9,000 taste buds Dinosaurs didn't eat grass? There was no grass in the days of the dinosaurs. A crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? It cannot move. It cannot chew but its Digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail, Glass pieces, etc Sharks are immune to disease i.e they do not suffer from any Disease. Animals are either right- or left-handed? Polar bears are always left-handed, and so is Kermit the Frog. Ants don't sleep. The eyes of the chameleon can move independently & can see in two different directions

# 1 In February 1878, the first telephone book was published in New Haven, Connecticut. The book was one page long and had fifty names in it. # 2 For more than 3,000 years, Carpenter ants have been used to close wounds in India, Asia and South America. # 3 In 2001, the five most valuable brand names in order were Coca-Cola, Microsoft, IBM, GE, and Nokia. # 4 The Sears Tower in Chicago contains enough steel to build 50,000 automobiles. # 5 Ninety-nine percent of pumpkins sold in the United States are for the sole purpose of decoration. # 6 The Arctic Tern, which is a small bird, can fly a round trip from the Arctic to the Antarctic and back. This can be as long as twenty thousand miles per

# 16 Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a fifty thousand-word novel, "Gadsby," without any word containing the letter "e." # 17 In a year, the average person walks four miles to make his or her bed. # 18 In the first century, people used to drink goats milk to sweeten their breath. # 19 In many of the milk ads that are shown, a mix of thinner and white paint is used instead of milk. # 20 It is possible to get high by licking a toad. The Cane Toad produces a toxin called bufotenine to ward off predators. It acts as a hallucinogen. # 21 In Las Vegas, casinos do not have any clocks. # 22 There is a restaurant in Stockholm that only offers all-garlic products. They even have a garlic cheesecake. # 23