Q1: What is red and goes tring tring tring? A1: tomato and the tring tring tring was to confuse you anyways. Here's one more. Q2: What is red and goes tring tring tring? A2: The door bell and the red was to confuse you anyways. Here's one more. Q3: What is red and goes tring tring tring? A3: A cake and both were to confuse you anyways. Here's one more. Q4: What's red and goes tring tring tring? A4: Fire brigade, OBVIOUSLY! You thought I was trying to confuse you again.

Why did Tom throw butter outside the window? Because he wanted to see the butter-fly.

An recent Italian immigrant to New York wanted a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but thi s time the number is 99." The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has ust drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches hi

Yo momma so fat, when she get in the elevator, u know, its Goin Down! (does motorcyle dance)

President Musharraf went to the US & had a meeting with President Bush. Bush said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me." Bush takes him in a deep forest and says, "Dig the ground." Musharraf digs. Bush says, "More, more, more..." Musharraf has now reached 100 feet. Bush says, "So now, did you find anything?" Musharraf, "I got a wire!" Bush says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!" Musharraf was very frustrated and he invited Bush to Pakistan. In Pakistan Musharraf says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in Pakistan!" He takes Bush to a forest and asks him to dig. After some time Musharraf says, "More. ...

A couple visit a sex therapist, who asked the wife, "What's your main complaint about your sex life? She replied, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The therapist asked the husband, "Is this true?" He replied, "Well, not exactly, I don't suffer. She does."

A man received a notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He asked his accountant for advice on what to wear to the meeting with the IRS agent. The accountant said, "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let them think you're poor." The man asked his lawyer the same question. The lawyer advised, "Show them you're a professional. Wear your best suit and tie." Confused, the man went to his rabbi and asked his advice. "Let me tell you a story," the rabbi said. "A woman was getting married. She asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. Her mom said, `Wear a long flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck,' but her best friend said, `Wear a sexy negligee.'" The man asked. "What d

Something to text to your friendz The police found a body with no brain, fucked up teeth, a small dick, and a swollen asshole Just called to make sure you are okay I was worried

What happens when a lion roars? Tom n Jerry starts!

A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium. It seems the little green frogs needed some "monosodium glue to mate".

Dear Abby has received lots of letters about funny names. Here are just a few sent to her! My father was born in Menomonie, Wis., and later taught there. He used to tell me about a law firm there called Ketchum and Cheatum. Also, he had a high school classmate named Iva Liver. - ANN, COLUMBUS, OHIO Years ago, I interviewed an attorney who was supposed to handle an important matter for me. His name: Rex R. Case. (Needless to say, I did not hire him!) - LINDA, N.J. I read the front section of the paper, where I encountered the following. It's titled, "Circumcision of African men can cut HIV risk by half." The physician quoted from the World Health Organization is Dr. Kevin De Cock. - BONNIE

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old son, Johnny, and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," Little Johnny replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said. Little Johnny bowed his head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"