Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the ground below and he is killed instantly. After the coroner leaves with Steve's body, Bob volunteers to inform Steve's wife of the terrible news. Some two hours later, Bob returns to the work site with a six-pack of beer under his arms. "Say, Bob, where did you get the six-pack?" "Steve's wife gave it to me!" "What! You just told her that Steve died and she gave you a six-pack?" "Well, before I broke the news to her, I asked her if she was Steve's widow. She said she wasn't, so I said I'd bet her a six-pack she was!"

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K9P.

What goes oh oh oh? Santa walking backwards

How do you make the number 1 disappear? Add a "g" to it and it's "gone"

How does the barber cut the moon's hair? E-clipse it

Why did the blond cross the road? I don't know. Neither did he.

Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs". When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance. After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames. When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowl

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. __________________________________________ TEACHER: John,why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. _______________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H-I-J-K

1. You could care less who Britney Spears is sleeping with. 2. You understand the differences between 27 brands of imported chardonnay. 3. You can call anyone "honey" including pets. 4. You know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere the gerbil. 5. You understand the immense importance of quality lighting. 6. You can be at a crowded disco the size of a baseball field and still spot a toupee. 7. You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit, and truly mean her bathing suit. 8. You can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover. 9. You really have "been there, done that." 10. Your women friends will tell you everything you want to know about their boyfriends

Did you hear about the blonde who went shopping for lip-gloss just so she could pass the make-up exam?

A lady named Annala had 4 children. They didn't spent a lot of time together. One day Annala's husband said,"How about having a picture contest, so we can have a great time! We can invite the whole family; Grandma, Grandpa, and the rest of the gang!" The mother accepted the challenge. The day of the picture contest everyone was there. So far everyone had very lovely pictures. A picture of a flower, a picture of a cat, a picture of a dog, and a picture of a duck. The youngest child was the last. Everyone was cheering while he was presenting. He proudly announced, "This great picture I made is of my mommy and daddy wrestling on the bed!"