What is grosser than gross? When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice!

What is the name for a bandaid on a pumpkin? A pumpkin patch!

You're so stupid, you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

Your so stupid you tried to kill a fish by drowning it!

Your so stupid you invented glow in the dark sun glasses!

You're so dumb you invented water proof tea bags!

You're so fat, when you went outside wearing a yellow dress everybody called "TAXI"

You're so ugly, you can't even turn on a lightbulb!

You're so fat that everybody has to talk behind your back!

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to go rob a bank she didn't have to use no gun, she just reached her head over the counter and said put the money in the bag!!!!!

A man had just got his car stuck in a mudhole during a drive in the country and he needed help getting it out. So he walked until he found a farm and asked the farmer for help. The farmer agrees to help the guy out. So he takes a horse out of the stable and leads him to the car. The farmer then ties a harness around the horse and the other end to the car. The farmer yells, "Pull, Sandy!" The horse just stands there. The farmer yells, "Come on now, pull Twister!" The horse once again just stands there. Finally the farmer yells, "Ok dangit, PULL RANGER! You're just standing there!" Finally the horse springs forward and with all the strength he has he pulls the car out of the ditch and onto the

One day, I went to the shooting gallery at the fair, one with the smiling clowns. I aimed and fired. Imagine my reaction when the target started yelling obscenities and charged. "WOW! These fairs are really getting high-tech," I thought. Just to impress the girls watching, I held my ground and continued firing. Pretty soon, he lost all of his teeth, but he still kept coming. And that was some realistic blood! I aimed up at the forehead, and the target dropped like a rock. A security guard walked up to me and said, "How do you feel? You just killed a carnie, you sicko!" "Wow, real carnival people!" I said, "I gotta get some of those for my shotgun at home! Carnies are cheaper than paper tar