What do Osama Bin Laden and crabs have in common. They both irritate bush!

2 men were out camping. At about 3:00 one man had to go to the bathroom. There were no toilets around and the men had no toilet paper! The man took a crap in the forest, but then had noting to wipe his butt with. He asked his friend what to do, and his friends said to wipe his butt with a 1 dollar bill. 5 minutes later the man came back with crap all over his hands. The friend asked what happened and the man said, "I didn't have a 1 dollar bill, so I used 4 quarters!"

What is grosser than gross? When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice!

What is the name for a bandaid on a pumpkin? A pumpkin patch!

You're so stupid, you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

Your so stupid you tried to kill a fish by drowning it!

Your so stupid you invented glow in the dark sun glasses!

You're so dumb you invented water proof tea bags!

You're so fat, when you went outside wearing a yellow dress everybody called "TAXI"

You're so ugly, you can't even turn on a lightbulb!

You're so fat that everybody has to talk behind your back!

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to go rob a bank she didn't have to use no gun, she just reached her head over the counter and said put the money in the bag!!!!!