Connecticut: You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands. Illinois: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. Iowa: Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes. West Virginia: No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions." Oklahoma: Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private p

Husband walks into his house with a chicken under his arm and says "Honey I want you to meet the pig I've been fucking." Wife looks at him and says "dear, that's a chicken not a pig!" Husband says "Shut up bitch I wasn't talking to you!"

There were 2 men sitting next to each other in a hospital waiting room. Feeling a little akward, one man turns to the other and asks, "So what are you in here for?". Leaning closer to the other man so as to wisper because of embarasment, the first man replies,"I have a green ring around my penis!" Shocked, the second man replies,"that's so weird, I have a red ring around mine." well time passes an the second man gets called into the doctors office. a little while later the man comes out and walks by the first man with a big smile on his face telling him that he was fine and that he will be too. so the first man gets called into the doctors office. the doctor started to examine him. after

I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered all over the world.

I failed my driver's test. The guy asked me "What do you do at a red light?" I said, "I don't know... look around, listen to the radio...

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

As I was coming back from Canada, I stopped at the border and the guy asked, "Do you have any firearms with you?" I answered, "What do you need?"

All of these are legitimate companies dealing in regular products and services, but they (obviously) didn't think their domain names through. Some of them are prime candidates for the "What was I thinking?" Award.... ALL these websites actually exist, selling something totally benign (and work-safe, in case you're wondering). 1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is: www.whorepresents.com 2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at: www.expertsexchange.com 3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at: www.penisland.net 4. Need a therap

It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law. * You may not sing in the bathtub. * Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents. * Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. * Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays. * You may not catch a fish with your hands. * You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. * Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. * Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your ow

A good-looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian." The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name." "I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever." The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO

Ghost Poopie The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain. Second Wave Poopie The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more. Turtle Poopie The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finally comes out Pop-a-Ve

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!" The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."