During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope delcined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, the Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. "The good news is... that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!"

A man is driving along an old dirt road when he sees this giant mud hole, but, he is not quick enough to swerve and avoid it. He climbs out of his car and walks along the road until he reaches a farm house. He goes in and asks the farmer to help him out of the hole. The farmer agrees and between the two of them they get the car out in about 15 minutes. The man offers to pay the farmer and asks how much he should give. The farmer says, "$200 should cover it because it took me a whole day." The man gets angry and shouts, "All day! It hardly took you 15 minutes." The farmer says, "Yea, but I had to fill the hole with mud too."

A boy asks his dad,"Dad, what is 6.9?" The dad answers, "69 interrupted by a period!"

Why does Santa have such big balls? Because he only comes once a year!

You're so stupid that you sold your car for gas money!

One blonde was so dumb she got locked in a bathroom and pissed her self!

A blonde is like a turtle. If either one is on their back, they are screwed!

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circular room and tell her there is a vibrator in the corner. How does a blonde confuse you? When she comes out and says she found it.

How many blonde jokes are there? One. The rest are all true stories.

What's the difference between a blonde and the internet? Not everyone has been on the internet!

Once upon a time 5 Indians captured 3 Americans and they said to go get fruit or they'll beat them up. The 1st guy comes back with apples and the Indians tell him to shove 10 apples up his butt. He says "Ok - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." then he dies and goes to Heaven. The 2nd guy comes back with oranges and he was told the same. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9..." then he bursts out laughing and laughs himself to death and he goes to Heaven. The 2 guys meet in Heaven and the 1st one says "why did you stop? you were so close!" "Because I saw the 3rd guy, he had pineapples!!!"

How do you fit 4 gay guys on a chair? Turn it upside down!