THE SEQUELS CONTINUE (these are all by me by the way) "Hmm... Let's go for the gusto today!" "Here's my ticket to fame, fortune, and Ripley's Beleive it or Not!" "I'm not as think as you drunk I am!" "Gotta match?" "Now, why in the name of God's green Earth did I do that?!" "We'll just mix these two together and that should...!" "No honey, there's no one in your closet. Now go to sleep. Quit crying. Here, I'll look just to make sure." "It's the red wire, right? The blue wire? There is no blue wire. The black one then? You're so wishy-washy. Here I'll just cut them both!" "Wow. A real dud grenade! Can I pick it up?" "Hey what's with the mask! I'm just visiting the hospital! Zzzzzzzz

I broke in to a gun shop last week. I didn't know that the owner lived on-site. He must have spent every night for the last ten years thinking of what he would do to the poor, hapless soul who would try to break in. I pointed my gun at him and he held up a grenade as he ran at me. I should be able to breath again in a few years. The old shopkeeper is dead, but, man, he got a hell of a laugh in before he left the world, Kamikaze style.

Yo mama's so fat, her Inuit name is Denali!

Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a GameCube was a Rubik's puzzle.

Yo Momma's so fat, when she jumps in the ocean, people head for higher ground.

Yo self-centered momma is so fat, the world really does revolve around her!

Yo mama is so fat, your family photos have to be shot from a plane.

Yo mama is so fat and lazy, that her hair-do has been turned into a National Forest.

Yo Mama so stupid, she got fired at the M & M factory because she threw out all the W's!

3 people were asked to find the "hardest" word in the dictionary. One person found the word "happiness". One person found the word"photosynthesis". The last person found the word "dick".

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, blondes usually screw in cars!

What do railroad tracks and blondes have in common? They are both laid all over America!