Have you heard about camping? It's intense. (In tents!)

A farmer and his son live on a farm in the middle of Nowhere, USA. One day the farmboy says to his father, "I'm bored." His father replies, "What are you talking about? Farm life is great!" He then adds, "However, I will admit, it is a little slow though. Nothing much to do except count the bricks in the silo." To this the boy says, "11,827."

How do you catch a unique rabbit? You nique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way!

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A licalottapus!

One lesbian said to the other, "I'll just be Frank with you," ...and the other said, "Ok, you be Frank today and I'll be Frank tommorrow."

What do you call two Chinese queers? Two can chew!

There was this blonde who had taken up golf for a long time. When she was ready to play, the 1st round she came back in 20 minutes and told the pro she was stung by a bee. He asked where. She said, "Between the first hole and the second hole." He said, "Sounds like your stance is too wide."

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left him!

One day, at lunch at an elementary school, the cafeteria was serving swiss cheese. A little girl received her meal and was disgusted by it. "Miss lunch lady," she said at the end of the line, "I don't like the holes in my cheese." "That's okay," she said. "Just eat around them and leave them on your plate."

There were three guys at an award ceremony for their school: a not-so-smart one, an average one, and a smart one. The not-so-smart one proudly boasts, "I'm going to receive an award today!" The average one was a bit skeptical about this and asks, "What kind of award will that be?" Before the not-so-smart on was able to reply, the smart one said, "The Most Improved Award."

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed... just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he li

A husband and wife are getting ready to go to bed. The husband says, "I thought we'd have sex tonight." The wife replies, "No, I'm too tired tonight." The husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says, "Yes, it is, thank you." The husband says, "OK, then, I'd like to phone a friend."