A 90 year old man is having a checkup at his doctors office. The old man is chatty that day and starts to brag about his life. He boasts about his 20 year old wife who is having a baby because he got her knocked up. He claims it's an amazing feat considering his old age. The doctor listening to this very intently says, "Well, this reminds me of a story. Let me tell you about it." "I know this man who is a hunter who goes bear hunting every single season. One day during hunting season the man is in such a rush to get out into the woods he grabs an umbrella instead of his shotgun. Anyway, he was out in the woods and he comes across a ferocious grizzly who is very mad. Horrified he raises his

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? Through a catalogue!!

Did you hear about the woman who poured margaritas in her birdbath? Enough tequila mockingbird.

A man walked into a stockbroker's office and said to the receptionist, "I just won the lottery, and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company." Heads turned in shock at hearing the man's language. "I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of talk here," the receptionist said. "You'll have to leave." "I told you I want to open an account with this %**!&%*! company," the man insisted. Suddenly the manager came out. "What's all the swearing about?" he asked. "I just won $12 million and I want to open an account with your %**!&%*! company," the man replied. "Oh, I see," said the manager. "And are these %**!&%*! people giving you a hard time?"

Knock-knock! Who's there? Chips. Chips who? Chips Ahoy!

Yo momma so dumb, she spent twenty minutes staring at a orange juice bottle because it said, 'Concentrate'.

Q. How do you kill a blond? A. Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said To be Continued!

Yo Momma so dirty she has to sneak up on the water

Your momma such a bitch, PMS cheers her up.

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale she screwed it to the bottom of the floor.