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After the last teacher quit, a new teacher was hired. On her first day of work, she saw "AAFTWC" on the board. "What is the meaning of this?" the new teacher asked. A white kid stood up and replied, "An apple from the white children." On her second day, the teacher walked in, and saw "AOFTBC" on the board. She asked who wrote it and what it meant. A black kid stood up and said, "An orange from the black children. On the third day, the teacher almost fainted when she saw "F***1T" written on the board. "THAT'S IT! WHO WROTE THIS, AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?" A Mexican stood up and told her, "From us chicano kids, 1 tamale."

ere is a chasm of carbon and silicon the software can't bridge. Yesterday it worked Today it is not working Windows is like that To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here. No keyboard present Hit F1 to continue Zen engineering? Hal, open the file Hal, open the damn file, Hal Open the file, please Hal Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. The ten thousand things How long do any persist? Netscape, too, has gone. Rather than a beep Or a rude error message, These words: "File not found

Knock-Knock. Who's There. OMG OMG who? OMG! How long has that cookie been in your Lunch Box?!

Yo Momma's feet smell so bad that her shoes committed suicide.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife that I had a drinking problem, and to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else. I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I

What kind of key can't open a door.

What kind of key can't open a door. A monkey

newf is cool timmy cool is cool battery is cool girliepie is cool newf is cool drunky is cool all on my buddy list are cool all on wocka are cool all on braingle are cool all on earth are cool all in the many universes are cool I just said you're cool vote full funny to agree you're cool schatzy228 is an @$$hole

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen were waiting. "Entschuldigung, sprechen Sie Deutsches?" he asks. The Englishmen just stare at him. "M'excusez-vous, parlez-vous français ?" They continue to stare. "Lo scusate, parlate italiano?" No response. "¿Me excusa, usted habla español?" Still nothing. The Swiss man drives off in disgust. One Englishman says to the other, "Y'know, maybe we ought to learn a foreign language." "Why?" says the other. "That feller knew 4 languages, and it didn't do him any good!"

Three contractors are at a theme park to bid for a job repairing fences – one is from New York, one from Texas and the third from Florida. First to bid is the Florida contractor. He measures up and says, "Well, I reckon we'll do the job for $900. That's $400 for materials, $400 for the men, and $100 for me." Next is the Texan, who measures up and says, "I'll do the job for $700, that's $300 for materials, $300 for my men, and $100 for me." The man from New York doesn't even stand up. He says, "$2700." The park owner, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure the job! How did you arrive at that price?" "Easy," says the New Yorker. "$1000 for you, $1000 for me, and we hire the Texan."