You might be a redneck if you let your thirteen-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of HER two kids.

There were three women that had just escaped from jail, one was a brunette, one was a red-head, and one was a blonde. They were running through the woods and the police and their dogs were chasing after them. The women ran into three empty potato sacks. They decided to hide. A policeman found the sacks and decided to give the first one a kick. It meowed. "Aww, it's a sack full of kittens," he said. He kicked the second bag and it barked. "Aww, it's a sack full of puppies," he said. He kicked the third one and it didn't do anything. He kicked it again and it didn't do anything. He was about to kick it again when the blonde popped out of it and said, "I can't act like potatoes if you keep kic

This joke may seem racist to some. I just wanted to warn you of this before you read it. Sally - Where does a baby go after he or she has passed away? Joe - I don't know. Sally - To heaven. What does the baby get after he or she arrives in heaven? Joe - I don't know. Sally - Wings. What is the baby called? Joe - I don't know. Sally - An Angel. Where does a black baby go after he or she has passed away? Joe - I don't know. Sally - To heaven. What does the baby get after he or she arrives in heaven? Joe - I don't know. Sally - Wings. What is the baby called? Joe - A bat!

Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk. What do you call a bright, sunny day that comes after two cold, cloudy days? Monday. A snake slithers into a bar. The barman says, "I can't serve you, you obviously can't hold your drink." Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside. Two parrots on a perch. One says, "Do you smell fish?" An eel slithers into a bar. The barman says, "I can't serve you, you're legless."

Why aren't dogs allowed in the White House? They might pee on the Bush!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Who who. Who who who? Is there an owl in here?

Knock Knock! Who's there? Amos. Amos who? Amosquito bit me!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Moo, moo, who. Moo, moo, who, who? Well, make up your mind, are you a cow or an owl?

Knock Knock. Who's there? Toulose. Toulose who? I don't want to lose to anybody!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Are you, Are you who? Are you going to let me in or not?

Knock knock. Who's there? Yudare. Yudare who? You dare to disturb me,while I am sleeping?