Why does a blond wear a tight skirt? To keep her legs closed

What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool? A blonde trying to put it out.

What do you call an intelligent blonde? A Golden Retriever

A blonde is on the road when suddenly she gets a phonecall from her friend: "Watch out! I heard on the radio that some lunatic is going against traffic!" So the blonde says, "Only one? They all are!"

How many Dyslexics does it take to change a Lit Blub?

Anyone remember Roy Clark, host of TV's "Hee Haw"? Once, cohost Buck Owens was visiting Roy's home in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Roy was upset because he had just bought a beautiful new pair of genuine leather boots that were completely destroyed by a mountain lion the night before when Roy had left them on the back porch. Roy was bound and determined to get the animal, so he and Buck, and several townspeople, took up arms and searched the hills. The group searched for hours to no avail. Then suddenly, Buck heard a feline wail. Buck turns to his friend and sings: "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

This was unveiled by scientists as "The Funniest Joke in the World": Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doin?" his mother asked; "you can't eat them if the seal is broken." The boy explained, "I'm looking for the seal."

A waiter asks a man, "May I take your order, sir?" "Yes," the man replies. "I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

Yo mama so fat, she coughed next to a corn field and made popcorn.

What's the difference between men and women? Women zoom with a camera by walking closer or farther away; men just push the button!