1. We are always clean. 2. We are totally comfortable saying, "I'll show you my breast if you show me your fly." 3. Bathing suits. Need I say more? 4. We WILL last the longest. 5. We know several different paces. 6. We LiKE it wet. 7. We will never hesitate to get on our backs. 8. We're good with our hips. 9. We never have any extra "baggage" in places where there isn't supposed to be any. 10. Not only do we put on latex fast and easy, but we go through enough of it in one year to cover our wallpaper with it. 11. We aren't always looking to "score" like all other athletes. 12. We don't "play games." 13. We go in hard, pull out fast, and come out wet. 14. We won't give up when we're tired. 15

Yo Momma so hairy, she got afros around her nipples!

This issue has been on my mind a lot lately. The lives of the innocent destroyed for the belief that they are mistakes. Many say that they're inadequate and that they deserve to be sent away. I'm sure they have feelings, too, though! Sometimes I can't eat or sleep because I think about them so much. It's such an injustice! They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Given no notice, they are swept right out of this world with such speed and are never heard from ever again. So many questions cloud my thoughts. How do they feel? Are they frightened or angry? Are they cold, lost and hungry? But the one question that I cannot find the answer to is: What happens to those poor letter

Never have lunch with a chess player - I did once; there was a checkered tablecloth, and it took him half an hour to pass me the salt.

The pub landlord was delighted with the little puppy that he'd acquired, and the little puppy was very pleased with his new home. He'd run around the place, just a bundle of energy - very inquisitive, examining this, looking into that, non-stop all day, until the inevitable happened and he caught his tail in a fast-closing door and lost it! Time passed, and as one human year equals seven dog years, eventually he went to dog-heaven, for an endless supply of dog biscuits, walks in paradise - well, you couldn't call it a dog's life! However, he felt incomplete, and one night around midnight, he went back in his ghostly form to ask to be made whole again. "Sorry," said the landlord, "you kno

There was a newlywed couple on their honeymoon in Antarctica. The bride asks her husband to gather berries; the husband asked, "Why do you want berries; we are in Antartica?" She replied with, "I was just wondering if you would and if your penis shriveled, because my nipples are hard and if your penis does shrivel, I can heat it up in my vagina when you got back." The husband ran out looking for berries. When he came back she asked, "What took you so long?" He then said, "Can we fuck now or what?" She said as long as you're not frost bit." So they went up to their room and started kissing furiously; the next thing he knew, she was giving him the greatest head he had ever gotten. Then he laid

Grey hair is hereditary - you get it from your kids.

Your Momma is so poor, when i picked up a penny she said "You owe me my paycheck."

Yo momma so old, when she was a kid the rainbows were black and white.

What's the difference between a sock and a camera? One takes five toes and one takes photos.

If this offends anyone, PM me. You know you're a Mexican when... 1. Someone related to you has their name tattooed anywhere on their body. 2. Your family goes to the flea market in their Sunday's best. 3. Your birthday doesn't have cake, candy, and Coca-Cola but has fajitas, chicken, and tequila. 4. When you've seen your uncle wearing your "new" clothes. 5. Your favorite music is not rap, rock, pop, or oldies, but instead, Tejano.

My wife is so house-proud, we live next door.