Yo Momma is so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.

Yo momma so dumb she asked for a price check at the .99 cent store!

The sky was dark The moon was high We were alone Just she and I Her hair was brown Her eyes were too I knew just what She wanted to do So with my courage I did my best And placed my hand Upon her breast I trembled and shook And felt her heart Slowly she spread Her legs apart I knew she was ready But I didn't know how It was my first try At milking a cow

What do you call a lonely fisherman? A Master-Baiter

Auntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower!

Teacher: I hope I didn't see you copying the test from your friend. Student: I hope you didn't either

What do you call an elephant chasing a cat? Depends on what his name is.....

Jr: This year I failed every class except biology. Mary: How did you do that? Jr: Easy, I didn't take biology

Q: What did one arithmetic book say to the other? A: I have a lot of problems.

Once, I was walking along our road and saw a man who appeared to be very old and well-lived sitting in a rocking chair. Surely, I thought, this man had all the answers. So I asked, "How did you live to such a healthy old age?" He said, "I do lots of drugs, eat lots of sugars and fats, I smoke, and I never exercise." "Wow," I said, "how old are you again??" "I'm 22."

MONDAY 8:00 - "Husseinfeld" 8:30 - "Mad About Everything" 9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions" 9:30 - "The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show" 10:00 - "Allah McBeal" TUESDAY: 8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune" 8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says It's Right" 9:00 - "Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things" 9:30 - "Afganistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers" 10:00 - "Buffy The Infidel Slayer" WEDNESDAY: 8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed" 8:30 - "When The Northern Alliance Attacks" 9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread" 9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone" 10:00 - "Veilwatch" THURSDAY: 8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi" 8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H" 9:00 - "Veronica's Closet Full of Long,