TRUE STORY I was working in a restaurant for several years. On a very busy night, I was helping out with the seating. I showed seats to a party of four and when I went to give them the menus, I realised we only had one menu left. As I placed the menu in front of one of them and told the other three that I would get them menus soon, they began laughing. They told me that the woman that I gave the menu to was blind!

TRUE STORY My first job was working in an office at my cubicle. Unfortunately, they put me on the floor with a bunch of pranksters. While I was doing my work, I saw one a co-worker with a funnel down his pants, trying to catch a coin with it, for fun. He would throw the coin in the air, and then catch it with the funnel. I found this very interesting, so when it was lunch break, I asked them if I could try it. The co-worker handed me a funnel and coin, and told me to put the funnel down my pants, and down my underpants if I wanted. I put it down my pants, and started playing. I caught the coin a couple of times, and I continued for a while. The co-worker left to get cold water to drink,

TRUE STORY My boyfriend decided to invite me over to his home one day. When I arrived, I was hoping we would be alone. When I got in, it was dark, except for the room we were in and I couldn't hear any noise, so I guessed we were. We started to make out until he grabbed my hand and brought me upstairs, covering my eyes and saying; "I have a surprise for you, why don't you make yourself a little more comfortable." Of course, I took that as a hint that he wanted sex, and he left saying he'd be back in five minutes. So I took off my clothes, sitting on his bed. Five minutes later, he called me to come out into the room next door to his room. I walked out proudly and walked into another ro

TRUE STORY When I was 16, I went camping with my family. My girlfriend, who was also 16, went along with her family as well. We went to the same campground together because her parents knew mine and we're friends. I thought that this was perfect because now I could be with my girlfriend all summer. One night, my girlfriend's parents were chatting with mine, so we sneaked away and went to have some "fun" at the cottage we were renting. So we got to the cottage but the door was locked so we ended up sneaking through a window. We got really busy that night, having lots of "fun" with each other. During the climax, we heard a noise and we thought our my parents had come back. Then the next thi

Perfect breasts (o)(o) Silicone breasts ( + )( + ) Perky breasts (*)(*) Big nipple breasts (@)(@) A cups o o D cups { O }{ O } Wonder bra breasts (oYo) Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) Lopsided breasts (o)(O) Pierced Breasts (Q)(O) Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p) Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o / Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( ) Android Breasts | o | | o | Mamogram Breasts (_)(_) Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)

After years of hiding the fact that the love is gone, Mom and Dad announced to their grown children that they're getting a divorce. The kids were totally distraught and, as a stab at keeping their parents together, arranged a series of sessions for the whole family with a world-famous marriage counselor. The counselor worked for hours, tried all of his methods and tricks, but the parents wouldn't even talk to each other. Finally, he walked over to a closet, brought out an oboe, and began to play. After a minute or so, the parents started talking and, as the counselor continued soloing on the oboe, the couple discovered they're not that far apart and decided to give their marriage anoth

You're so covered in dirt that if you wanted to eat a tootsie roll, you'd have to wear white gloves to keep from biting your finger!

1. A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless you're a diabetic!!!!! 2. People who live in glass houses should have sex in their basements!!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I can use technology, why can't you? The sky is blue, the grass is green, why is your brain as small as a lima bean? Your humorous, funny, have OCD, How come you can't use technology without me? I love you, I love you, I really do, but roses are red and violets are blue.

Boy(howling): A crab just bit my toe! Father: Which one? Boy: How should I know?!?!?! All crabs look alike to me!!

'How long will the next bus be?' 'About eighteen feet.'

Teacher: Can you name four animals of the cat family? Mary:Mother cat,Father cat,and two kittens.