Now I lay me down to sleep With the boy across the street Won't my mommy be surprised When my tummy starts to rise Won't my daddy be disgusted When he finds my cherry's busted.

A boy go to a girls house and notice her home is very messy and full of paper and clay pot and clothing all over. The boy tell her he bring some pot to her and she answer there is clay pot all over home.

Yo Momma is so dumb everytime she hears a car horn she yells "Happy New Year!"

Yo Momma's so fat they show IMAX movies on her butt!

What do you call 2 lesbians in a cupboard? A: A liquor cabinet!

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer, He drinks it, and 5 minutes later orders another. This goes on for 2 hours straight, the guy ordering a beer every 5 minutes or so. After 2 hours the guy has had 24 beers and is pretty drunk. The bartender looks at the guy and says, "How did you do that/" The guy responds, "It's no problem. You just chug 'em back." Bartender; "Not the drinking part, I mean how did you drink 24 beers without going to the bathroom?" The guy says, "Depends"

Why is marriage so much like a tornado? At first there is a lot of huffing and blowing, in the end someone loses their house.

Did you hear about the blonde who ran for president? She got tired after 2 miles and dropped out of the running.

Why did the kid like the bowl of carrots and peas? Because he could eat every carrot and pea in the bowl.

If a guy is a "chick magnet", and opposites attract, doesn't that make him gay?

10) Hum or sing when ever possible. 9) Always chew with your mouth open. 8) Pretend to fly around the room. 7) Have fights with your imaginary friends. 6) At school, fall asleep in every class. 5) When people turn around, make faces. 4) Scream every 10 minutes. 3) Tell every one you have a twin and then pretend to be the twin. 2) Say, 'I don't know.' when you are asked a question, no matter what the question is. 1) Tap your pencil on every surface.

One day my cousin says, "Oh, I love your hair. Show me how you do it!" "OK," I reply. "OK?" my cousin says; "you're not supposed to say OK! You're supposed to have a temper tantrum and scream, 'No! It's MY secret and I'm not going to tell you!' OK?" "You're just being stupid as usual. Leave me alone." Little cousins. *SHISH!* A few weeks later she comes up to me and says, "I like your make-up. Can you show me how to do make-up?" "You're too young," I reply. Now she's got the hissy fit going on (AGAIN). "I am NOT TOO YOUNG! Show me how to do make-up or I'll bite myself than tell Mama you did it like all those other times I said you bit me!" She yells. I turn around and say, "Too L