There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat the

The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten. "Johnny," the teacher asked, "where is the decimal point now?" "On the eraser!" came back the quick reply.

Ralph's father said, "Let me see your report card." Ralph replied, "I don't have it." "Why not?" His father asked. "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Kevin attended a horse auction with his father, watching as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Kevin asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy." Looking worried, Kevin said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom!"

Phillip's teacher asks him, "Can you name the Great Lakes?" Phillip, always fast with an answer, pipes up with, "I don't need to. They've already been named."

Mary had a little lamb! The doctor fainted!

Q :whats the best thing about children? A :making them!!

A blonde got an invitation to a party which said "Wear brown tie only!" After going to the party, she noticed that they were wearing pants and shirts also!

Yo momma is so old, that she cooked the last supper!

Yo Momma is so ugly that even Ripley's couldn't believe it!

Knock knock. Who's there? You! You who? What are you so happy about?

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach. The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."