Three friends a surgeon, an engineer, and a politician were discussing which of their professions was the oldest. The surgeon said "Eve was created from Adam's rib, a surgical procedure." The engineer replied: "Before Adam and Eve, order was created out of chaos, and that was an engineering job." The politician said, "Yes, but who do you suppose created the chaos?"

Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed. A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous. The driver pointed out the sign that read "20." He explained that he was going 20 mph because of the sign. The policeman pointed out that the sign indicated they were driving on Highway 20. Somewhat embarrassed the professor apologized and promised to be more observant. As the policeman turned to walk back to his car, he noticed the other two professors on the floor ...looking scared to death! He asked the driver, "What's wrong with them?" The driver replied, "We just turned off Highway 105."

Once there was a guy who lived in a blue, one story house. EVERYTHING in the house was blue. The refridgerator, all of the food, the tables, the chairs, the clothes of the man, the TV, the camera, the dishwasher, the washing machine, and even the man himself. What color were the stairs? Suspected Answer: Blue Real Answer: There were no stairs!!!

when your mom whent to China people would say "Run it's Godzilla!"

yo momma is so fat when she hugs people they get lost!

Q: What do you say when you see a group full of black people? A: Where is the cream filling?

Why do alot of people go to black peoples yard sales? A:To get there stuff back.

Yo momma is so stupid she got locked up in the bathroom and she peed in her pants!!

Yo Momma's so fat, when she went in a hot air balloon there was a solar eclipse!

Ed and Ted went to the fair, where they came across a small crowd gathered around a stall. They decided to go over and take a look. "What's going on?" Ed asked a person in the crowd. "We're watching to see if some idiot can ride that bronco machine," he said, nodding towards a fearsome looking machine. "Nobody has managed to stay on for the full three minutes yet, and there's a prize of $100 for anybody who can." "I can do that," Ed said confidently. "You can't," said Ted. "You'll get yourself killed if you try and ride that thing." "Watch this," said Ed and he climbed aboard the bronco machine. The machine thrashed wildly, up and down, from side to side, around in circles but still

You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

You know you're a redneck if you have season tickets for the tractor pull.